Yeah, I'm Talking About You!

Funny thing about me. I give off this weird vibe to people. It's hard to explain what it is, but it attracts the damnest people. You know how gaydar works, right? Well there is another radar that picks up on and finds kind, generous and honest people. Helpful, decent folk who just want to be good people can be found with this special ability. I, as it seems, do not have this distinguishing characteristic...at all.

As I'm sure you know, sometimes this special radar can be used for evil. Unfortunately there are those that use it to find people that they can latch on to like a blood sucking leech. They pretend to be interested in a friendship, but they really only want some of what you have. They tend to be the favor whores. Always needing your help, but when they are called upon they let the phone go to voicemail. I really thought I had rid myself of those people. A few would stumble in, but not last long.

What is sad is that I really did think I had flushed all of them out. Come to find out...I didn't...Shit! I really mean SHIT! How did this happen? Now that my friends and neighbors know we are moving, it seems it has really gotten quiet around here. My "friends" "seemed" sad, but then something odd happened. The phone stopped ringing, they stopped answering their phones, emails take three times as long to return and every freaking favor I've called in has been turned down in one way or another. All this leaves me scratching my head wondering what the hell!

I can't count how many favors I have done for these "friends". From watching their brats, running an errand, lending out items, watching pets, fronting money, multiple E.R. trips, moving in and moving out, cooking when sick....what have any of those things gotten me?? All my great friend moves have gotten me jack squat, nothing, zero, zilch, nada! I rarely ask favors, it's just something I don't do, if I can help it. So, when I do ask you a favor, I really need it.

At first I was nervous and a bit sad to move. Now I can't wait to get the hell out of here. Not that I think my leaving is going to put anyone out. As it seems a few have already replaced me, but don't cry for me. I will just take this lesson to Oklahoma City and learn from it.

Maybe I should see this as a very good thing. As long as we are still here I won't be bothered doing anyone any favors! That actually sounded really good when I said it. I think I just turned my own frown upside down into a smile. It's their loss and my gain anyway.