Suburban Psychosis

Yeah, I'm Talking About You!

2011-09-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

Funny thing about me. I give off this weird vibe to people. It's hard to explain what it is, but it attracts the damnest people. You know how gaydar works, right? Well there is another radar that picks up on and finds kind, generous and honest people. Helpful, decent folk who just want to be good people can be found with this special ability. I, as it seems, do not have this distinguishing characteristic...at all.

As I'm sure you know, sometimes this special radar can be used for evil. Unfortunately there are those that use it to find people that they can latch on to like a blood sucking leech. They pretend to be interested in a friendship, but they really only want some of what you have. They tend to be the favor whores. Always needing your help, but when they are called upon they let the phone go to voicemail. I really thought I had rid myself of those people. A few would stumble in, but not last long.

What is sad is that I really did think I had flushed all of them out. Come to find out...I didn't...Shit! I really mean SHIT! How did this happen? Now that my friends and neighbors know we are moving, it seems it has really gotten quiet around here. My "friends" "seemed" sad, but then something odd happened. The phone stopped ringing, they stopped answering their phones, emails take three times as long to return and every freaking favor I've called in has been turned down in one way or another. All this leaves me scratching my head wondering what the hell!

I can't count how many favors I have done for these "friends". From watching their brats, running an errand, lending out items, watching pets, fronting money, multiple E.R. trips, moving in and moving out, cooking when sick....what have any of those things gotten me?? All my great friend moves have gotten me jack squat, nothing, zero, zilch, nada! I rarely ask favors, it's just something I don't do, if I can help it. So, when I do ask you a favor, I really need it.

At first I was nervous and a bit sad to move. Now I can't wait to get the hell out of here. Not that I think my leaving is going to put anyone out. As it seems a few have already replaced me, but don't cry for me. I will just take this lesson to Oklahoma City and learn from it.

Maybe I should see this as a very good thing. As long as we are still here I won't be bothered doing anyone any favors! That actually sounded really good when I said it. I think I just turned my own frown upside down into a smile. It's their loss and my gain anyway.

Garage Sale Love & Hate

2009-10-03T14:33:00.000-07:00

I always say, "This is the last garage sale I'm having". Of course my husband rolls his knowing eyes, because it won't be my last and he is completely sure of that. To be honest, I know that it won't be, but in my defense I am hoping that it might be.

Garage sales and I have a love / hate thing going on. I can save, price, and pack away like it was an art or an Olympic sport. I take my time for months, just finding this and that throughout the house. Scanning my house as I clean or put away laundry. Planning is so easy and that ease hooks me every time. I get lost in the planning only to slowly start to dread the garage sale as the date begins to creep up.

First of all I want to know who decided garage sales were going to start so early in the morning? Ummm, that requires one to get up even earlier to finish prepping or like a lot of people, to finish pricing and to drag the crap out to the driveway. The crack of dawn is unsympathetic to all those that don't naturally get up before the roosters. No matter how early I "plan" to go to sleep, I am no more useful at 4:45 a.m., than if I were still asleep.

Secondly, I hate early birds that show up despite the no early bird statement added to the ad that they read to find out about the damn garage sale. I know they read it, but they come by anyway in some hopes that I will allow the very early birds I said I didn't want to deal with. Sorry you don't know that I am that kind of person and I will tell you not to come in. In my head I'm telling you to jump up my butt, because I'm freakin tired and your rudeness is rushing me, which makes me pissy. I'm pretty sure I don't need your money and now don't want it.

Thirdly, oh how I hate having to deal with tards who want my stuff for free. Did I put it out at the curb? Does it have a free sign on it? I think its bullshit to haggle on a mint condition men's Polo shirt that's marked 2.00! Really? What moron doesn't know that Polo retails for a few bucks more than 2.00? You don't have to know it's in the neighborhood of 68.00, but I expect you to use your brain. How about the lady that bitched about the 8.00 priced Brighton kitten heeled sandals that clearly had a perfect sole and the original price tag of 135.00 still on it. She wanted to give me 50 cents! My garage sales are not full of trash. I take care of my things and price them well below anything you could pay new or used on Ebay. It just drives me nuts! I have people haggling me over items priced 50 cents. They want to give me less on every price, if they can. Do these people think they are pros, experts or ready to pen a how to book, because they can save a quarter here and fifty cents there at garage sales? What an inspiring feat!

Lastly, I simple don't look forward to dealing with anything that doesn't sell. I don't want to take it home, so I have to load it up in the car and drive it to the local Goodwill. Yes, Goodwill is better than tossing the stuff in the trash, but Goodwill has done some things that I don't agree with. I'd rather give to the Salvation Army, but they have sucky hours and there isn't an after hours box or bin I can use.

So, why do I keep having garage sales? I guess we have a lot of stuff and making some money back ain't too shabby.

Say No to Emo

2009-09-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

This is something like how my 14 year old son wants to dress. At least this is how he keeps talking about dressing.

He is driving me insane with all his what ifs.

Here is his list that he keeps asking about:

1. What if I get a mohawk and color it half blue half black?

2. What if I get my lip and brow pierced?

3. What if I get tattooed all over?

4. What if I grow my hair past my shoulders w/ blonde tips?

5. What if I only wear black and I get all Emo pasty?

6. What if I tattoo the side of my head?

7. What if I was Goth w/ make-up and earrings up my ears?

He brings these what ifs up all the time. He talks about the Goth and Emo styles all the time. Enough!

This is such the opposite of how I grew up and how he was dressed as a young boy. I grew up with Polo, Calvin and Izod. I dressed my son in Polo, Izod and Gap. Where is this coming from? His friends don't dress Goth or Emo. Really, I'm at a loss as to where this is coming from.

Now, I am not against freedom of expression or wanting to express yourself with fashion. It's just that I don't like the Goth or Emo look. I don't want my son shaving his head, wearing a mohawk, or piercing his face. And I don't want him getting all pasty and wearing all black.

I want him to keep dressing in Polo and Gap. I want him to keep looking like this...

There isn't anything wrong with this look. It's clean, polished and educated looking. People will think better of my son looking like the guy in the above pic then the guy in the first pic. That's just how it goes in this world. I didn't make up the rules. Of course, if my son joins a band, gets signed to a major label and becomes a successful musician, then I guess he can look like Johnny Rotten.

I Drank the Kool-aid

2009-09-20T17:30:00.000-07:00

I said I wouldn't do it, but I did anyway. Not only did I drink the Kool-aid, but it was my second glass. I guess I can officially be called a follower, that which I detest. I'm not talking about following my favorite blogs or the followers of this blog. It's the following of trends or the crowd that I don't like.

Why? I joined Twitter today and before that I join Facebook. I tried to stay away, but got sucked in anyway.

First my damn friends got me started with Facebook. Who knows exactly how many hours of my life I've lost to Facebook. At first it sucked me in just with collecting friends, then I started collecting old friends, then people I went to high school with, then people I went to middle school with, then old neighbors, then people I used to work with, THEN I started excepting old boyfriends. Before I knew it I was excepting their wives and my husband's old girl friends. I'm friends with freak'n everyone. Why stop now? I'm not a snob! I'm an equal opportunity friender.

Now here comes Twitter. I don't know how long I'll be on this one, because I'm Twitter retarded. I understand Twitter, but I tweet from the computer not my cell phone. Every place I go everyone is tweeting on their phones. I hate texting so much I took texting off my phone. I don't like the tiny keys and I see no reason not to use the mouthpiece.

For now though, I'm like the Dad in that Verizon commercial where he is tweeting from the couch and all he is doing is typing that he is on the couch. If you are Twitter retarded or just want to know when I'm on the couch, then come see me at subrbnpsychosis.

They Didn't Miss Me?

2009-09-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

Ain't that the truth!

Well that leaves me with 34 more years before it gets easy, woo hoo! That's over three decades of torture, I feel like I won the lottery. I feel so warm and fuzzy when I think about it... Wait that might be something else? I'll have to get back to you on that one.

So what has my panties in such a wad? Well let me tell you...I was forgotten. Really, I was completely forgotten about by my family. Think waiting outside for your Mom or Dad to come pick you up from school or work, but they never show, because the forgot you. Yay, like that, but worse.

See I left the house (in front of my husband) after telling my 14 year old. I didn't tell my 8 year old, because 9 out of 10 times that means a 10 minute goodbye / I love you send off outside until my car is gone from his sight. Being my Mama's boy, I will leave him out of this, as he is my only allie and he will cross over to the dark side soon enough.

My husband saw me and my oldest son spoke the words, "okay". I know that my son speaking while playing a video game doesn't count as him hearing me, but I did tell him.

I was gone for 5 hours, before I called from a local restaurant to ask them if they had eaten dinner and if they wanted anything. That was when it dawned on my husband that I wasn't home. I actually think it was the crowd of football fans cheering in the background that tipped him off, otherwise he might have thought I was calling from the back of the house.

Strangely enough I've never been able to stay in any part of the house for more than 5 minutes, before one of them finds me. I don't remember the last time I took a bath or went to the bathroom (for any reason) without one of my kids knocking on the door. They must have known on some level that I wasn't there.

Hubby doesn't ask where I am or let on he just realized I was out of the house. I order the kids food and make it home about 45 minutes later. That is when my husband tells me with a chuckle, "Hey, you know I didn't even know you had left". I felt so loved at that moment. Without missing his cue, my oldest says, "You left"?

Well, thank God I wasn't abducted while I was gone. I wonder when exactly they would have noticed I was gone? Maybe an hour after dinner? Maybe next Thursday? I keep thinking about how when I am home they find me every few minutes, yet they were totally unaware I was gone for 5 hours. I keep doing the math, but it doesn't add up.

I can hear the eventual 911 call in my head.

911: This is 911, what is your emergency?

Husband: I think my wife is missing

911: When did you last see your wife?

Husband: I don't know

911: You don't know? The how do you know she is missing Sir?

Husband: There's no dinner

911: Do you know what she was last seen wearing?

Husband: No

911: Sir, you don't know what she is wearing and you don't know when you last saw her? Sir, maybe she isn't missing. I'm sending an officer to your house.

The police show up and ask my husband the same batch of questions. I am confident that the policemen would leave the house scratching their heads wondering if this man was even married to a real person.

You're Telling Me Why??

2009-09-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't figured it out yet, but there is definitely something about either me or this house that makes my kid's friends air their family business. These kids pass the threshold and they start spilling their guts. I know way too much dirt on these parents.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not complaining. I love me some gossip, it's just sorta weird where the information is coming from. Maybe they need to get it off their chests or maybe they just have loose lips.

It does make for strange conversations in my head when I see these parents out around town or when they come to pick up their precious blabber mouth.

I know about divorces, fights, habits, likes & dislikes, what they think of their neighbors and / or family members, who hides purchases from their spouse, hang ups, mood swings and who's on medication. I even know about siblings sneaking out, older boyfriends, who closet smokes, who's failing a class or two and who had a minor fender bender without telling anyone.

Too bad I can't sell these tid bits of information to the trash rags or that none of the parents are wealthy enough to blackmail. My kids need to network up the food chain!

All this has me thinking about if my kids go and tell their friend's parents any of my dirt. Sadly, I don't really have any. Actually these parents are making me reevaluate my life. I'm boring! I need to trash it up a bit. I'm not as interesting as these people. Anyone have any suggestions??

I'm not on medication, even though I envy those spaced out soccer moms. I don't really drink, so the chance of some drunken embarrassment is slim to none. I don't have a rap sheet. My kids aren't failing. There isn't anything I feel is worth hiding from my husband, so there goes any one's chance of blackmailing me. I'll never be lucking enough to get to divorced (I'm joking honey). Wow I do sound boring!

So boys and girls think about what your kids are overhearing or watching you do. They might just tell me and you don't want that, because I'll blog about it!

You Can See Them Too, Right??

2009-09-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm making it official...I hate stupid people. For those of you who know me, know this is no big surprise.

They are everywhere and, if that wasn't enough, I attract them too! Did I miss something or are there more stupid people than there use to be? Now to be clear, I lump rude people in the group, because it makes my life easier. Aren't they one in the same anyway?

I find myself daydreaming about bitch slapping people. I thought I might need meds to deal with all the stupid people, but that would probably make me more confident in confronting the morons and with a smile.

One lady had me aggravated yesterday by carrying on a conversation on her cell phone in public. Here I am trying to think of a classified ad while she has a conservation with a man about not leaving him breakfast before she left the house. Not only is that an asinine topic of discussion, but she had the guy on speaker and the volume was so high the guy's voice was distorted. Really, lady? I don't know if this guy was her husband or her adult son, either way he's a douche. I didn't know if I wanted to slap her or hug her and tell her to run away from this man, husband or son or whoever. It took me 10 minutes to write 29 words, because I couldn't think straight. Why did I have to listen to any of that?

Stupid seems to be the new trend, maybe it's the new fashion statement. Sorta like stupid is the new black, it goes with everything.

Do I lack some trait to be able to deal with stupid or rude people? It is such a sore spot with me. I am very stupid intolerant. Maybe I can make a game out of it? I should buy one of those "I'm With Stupid" t-shirts. I could wear out when I run errands and stand by people that annoy me. Too bad I couldn't pull off having my picture taken with some of them. I could collect them, lol.

Even had to deal with a stupid salesman with Dell today. I already had a quote and told the dude (who was looking at it on his end) I only wanted to change the laptop's color. He starts right in going through each feature, asking, "are you sure you want this and are you sure you want that"? Each and every question I answered him, "I only want to change the colorrrr". Seven times I said it, yes I counted. I wanted to ask him what was wrong with him. Was he part of a work program?? I mean that changes everything, if he is part of some special assistance program.

Half of Wal-marts employees are on that very assistance program. Okay, maybe they all qualify for one, but one doesn't exist. I think my neighbor needs to be on one. Instead of bailing out the auto makers or pushing people to volunteer, the government should have created a common sense stimulus package. Make everyone take classes on manners and how to use your common sense. There should be rehabs for stupid people and stupid people interventions. I would support that, hell I'd even watch a reality show based on stupid people being taken by surprise and whisked away to intelligence boot camp. The show would never run out of people to transform. It would make good TV and be a service to mankind.

I'm just say'n.

His Sick Versus Mine

2009-09-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

Let me set the tone here.

This is my husband sick

And this is me sick with bronchitis

Note the differences? There are several. Beginning with the fact that I am upright most of the duration of any illness while my husband is prone for a period before, then during and a period of time after.

You'll also notice that he isn't doing anything but "dying" a slow nonactual death. I, on the other hand, am cleaning, cooking and pretty much doing what I do every single day. I have learned it doesn't get done by itself and there are no fairies that are coming to do it in the still of the night. Damn Fairies! There is a much better chance of pigs flying out of my butt before anyone, but me, does it. You can bank on that one!

Am I bitter? Damn skippy I'm bitter! I was asked once if I needed anything. One single time in 48 hours. What makes it worse is that if I drop dead, they will step up and do what needs to be done. The fact that I am still breathing translates in to some twisted game of mental chicken to see you breaks first to do the simpliest of tasks.

I'm not asking my husband to do everything, but damn do a load of laundry. If he is going to pop an artery doing one freaking load of clothes, then I want to see it happen. I demand to see the aftermath of emptying the dishwasher or making dinner. He takes off work to "help me", but ends up either surfing the internet or sleeping on the sofa.

Now that the man baby is sick, with what can only be described as sounding like Derek Zoolander's black lung, I get to sit and watch him suffer. I swear he sounds like Zoolander, "he he he, Pop I think I have the black lung". I hope this doesn't take long.

Things Can Only Get Better

2009-08-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

Don't you love when life smacks you around for awhile? For the last few weeks, life has been really screwing with me. I have to wonder, if karma has anything to do with it. How else can I explain the crappy way things have been going? I bet your wondering what I must have done to deserve crappy karma. I'm pretty sure I was a bad ass in another life.

I guess I don't really have that much to complain about. I have my health (knock on wood) and my husband hasn't left me (yet). And there is the fact I've made my life crazy by biting off more than I can chew. I haven't had much of a chance to go to the bathroom alone or without the phone ringing or someone knocking at the door. Lately the knocks at the door are more frequent than at a whore house and the phone rings all day.

I remember my life being less hectic when I worked outside the house. I feel like I wear too many hats, but I either can't take off a hat or I don't really want to take one off. I miss my blog and will try harder to sit down and share the madness that is my life. I've met so many stupid people and dealt with so many odd moments that I wish I had shared with you. Have no worry, because nothing is normal in this house and there is always more than enough stupid people for me to deal with in any given day.

Now I must return to real life and remove boogers from the wall.

Getting Screwed By Google

2009-07-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

For some reason I keep getting this pop up ad from Google Home Profits, even though my pop up blocker is on. Usually the simple fact that this is happening would be enough to get my blood boiling, but there is more to it.

The ad that keeps taunting me is for a Google "money" generating home business . You place ads on your website and you start making money, just like that. Let me set the mood...wait for it...wait for it...Google Home Profits can suck it or go to hell. Actually can they do both?

Let me give you one of the links, because I know you are dying to see what I'm talking about. It's like this link is possessed. All day it's been popping up! Block it and it comes back. Anyone have any other ideas how to stop this torture? I'm thinking about going down to their office and helping them remove me from whatever system they have! Oh wait that's right they don't have an address that matches the website. Could it be because this is total crap.

Mike Richardson probably doesn't really exist. Wait let me go check the phone book. After all they claim he lives in my town and makes 5,000 a week. Found one guy in the phone book. Wonder if I should call him? I want to know if he got screwed out of 76.00 or was that just me. Thought I'd see how that crap works and post about it. I figured no harm, no foul it's just 1.87 shipping.

Oh how wrong I was! I get a charge for 76.00 from Google Home Profits parent company and it's a recurring fee, no less. WTF? Nowhere does it state that I'm going to be charged (or screwed out of) 76.00 for anything. Here's the link about the Google Ad scams and more, check it for yourself. You won't find a 76.00 fee anywhere in any of the ads. It does however state this diddy: Your cost=$0. At the end you'll be told you can be charged 49.95 after the 7 day trial. In most of the ads this information is hidden at the very end after you pay 1.87 shipping.

Guess what? I never even got my 1.87 software that I am still fighting them to refund 76.00 for. Don't cha think I need to receive the damn thing in order to return it?? That's my favorite!

Take my advice and don't try to expose a scam by getting involved. I would love to hear from a real person that actually makes real money with this scam.

I'm Jealous

2009-07-24T18:52:00.001-07:00

I was surfing the net, because I really don't want to go organize my son's room. There are some very interesting things out there. Sometimes you just have to be a procrastinator, such as me, to find this stuff.

I admit I am jealous that I did not think of these website titles. Thought I'd share with you some of what I found.

A site called ‘Who Represents’ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity: www.whorepresents.com

Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views:
www.expertsexchange.com

Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
www.penisland.net

Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com (Just so we're clear, I don't wish I made this one up)

The First Cumming Methodist Church:
www.cummingfirst.com

Art direction at reasonable prices:
www.speedofart.com

Want to vacation in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at:
www.gotahoe.com (When I went I found a hundred dollar bill, maybe it belong to a hoe?)

I'm thinking that running a url address by a friend or coworker might be a good idea - I'm just saying.

Oy Vey

2009-07-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Guy: David with blah blah cancer information center

Me: (open door just a bit) Can I help you? (puzzled about door to door cancer education program)

Guy: I would love to share with you important information about cancer.

Me: From that 8 inch thick binder?

Guy: Yes ma'am, there's so much people don't know. This information could save your life!

Me: Really (said sarcastically)? Except sir you came here last year and wasted 30 minutes of my life. Come to find out you weren't the cancer information fairy, you are just a loser that uses cancer to sell insurance. You need to get off my front porch.

(Man's eyes grow large. You can see the wheels turning. He goes for another try)

Guy: Cancer is a very dangerous disease. You need to protect yourself. Please let me help you. You will be sorry if you don't educate yourself.

Me: Oh David, trust me I'm up to date on my cancer info. And rest assure I'm protected... and that I'm gonna empty the clip.

(David decided to leave)

How was your day?

2009-07-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

Can we talk? Don't take this wrong, it's not you, it's me, no wait it is you. You see I hate when people talk on their cell phones when out in public. I must have missed the memo, the one everyone else and their grandmother got, about cell phone usage in public being so freaking necessary.

I mean really, is it that important for people to go through the day with a phone attached to the side of their head? What could be so interesting? After all I hear your conversations and I haven't heard anything earth shattering yet. Yesterday I passed 47 people talking on their cell phones in Wal-mart and every one of those people made it real easy to hear everything they were saying. And I feel I should tell you the Wal-mart customer phone calls differ hugely from Target customers, if you get my drift.

Let's break some of this down with a few examples:

2 Mothers fussing at their child (chores, running an errand)

1 College age boy crushing on some guy in his math class (some guy, on the next row over, is adorable)

10 Women gossiping about friends (vacations, children, weight gain, attitude and haircuts)

1 Bride - to - be declaring "the Redhead" is not invited to the wedding

1 Guy talking about golf

1 Woman talking about what do this weekend

2 Young women only saying "I know" over and over (wonder if they were talking to each other?)

1 Old lady complaining about something while badly driving a scooter with one hand (my favorite)

Can't these conversations wait? How in the world did everyone make it before cell phones? It's my guess that no one really needs to have the above conversations. I think people like to feel important, maybe they are just hiding behind their conversations. Whatever it is, I think it's rude to detach yourself from your surroundings and ignore your manners.

I hate the following cell phone induced behavior:

1. You don't drive well while on the phone (even blue tooth, because your mind is distracted)

2. When you run into /brush against/cut off someone, you keep talking instead of saying excuse me (you're an ass)

3. You can't steer a shopping cart (call for someone to clean up the broken jar - maybe you can use your cell phone!)

4. You don't acknowledge the cashier person while checking out, which means you're not moving fast enough for me

5. You talk way too loud about anything. Please, somethings don't need to be said at a high decimal!

6. You lolly gag in the isles in front of items I want to get to, because you are unaware that I'm standing there (you're an ass)

So, when you are out, just think about whether that call realllly needs to take place. And can you try to keep your business to yourself? One of these days you are going to be talking loudly, in the isle, in front of my box of tampons and I'm going to tell you so, loudly.

2009-07-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

Some Calling Cards You Just Don't Want

Sometimes in life you come across something that the rational mind just can't grasp. Currently my mind is struggling to understand and solve the great mystery (and disturbing case) of the poop made outside the toilet.

So, I go into the hall bathroom to put some things away. I happen to look down and there to my horror was a healthy size piece of poop on the floor close to the toilet. WTF! All that could come out of my mouth was a very lady like, "who shit the floor!" My husband comes flying and sliding across the wood floor to see just exactly what my question entailed. All he musters up is a monotone, "oh, that's poo...on the floor". I married a genius!

The mystery isn't what it is (obviously, since I'm not a total idiot), but why it was there. Poop on the floor outside the toilet? How long had it been there? Who put it there? A few kids had come over to play. These are kids that have been here before without any fecal matter being left behind. I'm concerned that the owner of the poop didn't know they left us a gift. And you know that poop is never a gift you want! Did it fall from their underwear or worse, did they not want it to go in the toilet? So many questions and no one is talking.

For those of you wondering what happened next; yes, I had to pick it up and then I took the first layer of skin off while sanitizing myself. I'm pretty sure I'll never forget. If you're ever over for a visit, please poop in the toilet, it would be greatly appreciated.

2009-07-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

"Lord please forgive me and bless all the little pygmies down in New Guinea"

I try to be a nice person (I really do). I guess you could say I have a 75% success rate, which is pretty damn good. Somewhere swimming in the other 25% are my opinions and thoughts about my neighbors. Not all my neighbors, just one family in particular.

My husband and I would rather bleed out than get stuck talking with them. There are very few people in this world that can make me pucker simply at the sight of them. Ladies and gentleman, this family does. And I mean prison pucker, not country club pucker.

The husband drives his car around the block like he is training for the Grand Prix. He is always telling everyone different stories about his car having major problems, yet he continues to take several trips around the block every bloody day. He will also tell you all about his money troubles.

I must let you know that I have a hard time understanding his "money troubles". They live in his mother in-law's rental house for free, his parents bought them their car, he buys toys such as; Ipods, RC cars and computers. However he doesn't pay his bills, so he loses his lights or the phone a couple of times a year, to which his parents pay the bill and the service returns. No matter what you're doing, if he sees you, he will come up to you and tell you crap about his bills. He starts mid sentence, so sometimes I just let my eyes glaze over and retreat to a happy place until I sense he has stopped talking, either that or I notice he has left. It's the only thing I can do to prevent myself from being an ass and telling him, "Good for you, you deserve to lose your services". I mean if you're not going to pay your bills, then duh! You are 37 year old, get with the program and stop quitting jobs. Support your family!

Last year he and his son joined Cub Scouts. My family has been very involved with scouts for about 9 years now. Guess what that means?? I get the pleasure of dealing with him even more often. Now he has more reasons to stop by our house. Because of scouts, he has our phone numbers now. He calls and drops by asking for favors and handouts all the time. I know he is mooching, but the rest of the scout leader's are just beginning to catch on to his grifting ways. He has managed to get the pack to pay his way for 90% of everything. This includes his wife and daughter tagging along at the pack's expense, whereas everyone else is paying for their family members. How about your wife and daughter or whoever the tag-a-longs are, don't attend an event if you can't afford to pay for them. Sounds real easy to me and its how most people would handle it.

In two weeks he has called and come over dozens of times asking for a ride to Houston. He claims his car can't handle the distance. The car that he drove to Florida in can't make it to Houston? We aren't the only people he bugs in the scouts. He has been stalking a few others with daily calls. He calls you four or five times a day asking the same question, because he wants you to offer him something like a ride or to pay for something. He actually asked one of the committee members if she would cover the costs of the tickets to the Astros game. That's at least 70.00 dollars! Now he is trying to get someone to share a hotel room, which he won't ever pay his share of.

On top of all this the entire family smells. We aren't talking I was outside working in the yard and didn't take a bath in two days smell. This is the we don't ever bathe smell. It's so strong you can smell them from my porch 10 feet away. Another neighbor was outside one day and she couldn't take the smell to the point she told this woman, "go home and bathe your children" and walked off. I don't think they know where the bathroom is in that house. When I dropped off a form, I couldn't see the floor from all the clothes lying around. My youngest refused to go inside when the children invited him to play. Thank goodness for small miracles that day.

The wife, who claims to have both epilepsy and narcolepsy, yet doesn't take any medication, drags her kids around the neighborhood everyday. She will stop at every house where there is life and tell us all the same things. Some days it's "I hate my husband" or "I am so mad at my husband". I like it when she brags about all the men in the neighborhood and how they stare at her and how hard it is to walk the neighborhood with all these men undressing her with their eyes. I think I actually threw up in my mouth the first time she told me that.

This is just the tip of the iceberg with these people. I'm thinking a moat wouldn't be such a bad idea.

OMG! Speak of the devil; he is on my front porch, again. Make it stop!

2009-07-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

Lets Play Wal-Mart Bingo!

Or Things That Make Me Think Of Ned Beatty

I must be living under a rock or something, because I never knew Wal-Mart bingo existed. All these years I simply avoided the strange people, instead I could have been hunting them for fun! I downloaded this board, but it didn't come out large enough (sorry). Love the someone oblivious to the fact they are in your way and the entire family wearing NASCAR squares.

Well, I thought I loved this card, but then I went to visit my in-laws and well...the card doesn't fit their Wal-Mart. My in-laws live in a small town in Mississippi. When we go out into town I always hum to myself dueling banjos. Yes, I do and you would too, if you saw these town folk. Now they may not live in the town, they might be coming out of the woods to shop or get moonshine supplies. Either way they scare the hell out of me. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that a movie casting agent ran out of gas on the side of the road and came across the guys that took Ned Beatty hostage. Maybe the agent offered them roles in Deliverance in exchange for his or her life. It doesn't matter if they can read, they only had to be told "act natural".

So I decided that in order to play Wal-Mart bingo in this town, I would have to change a few squares. These are the new titles I'll be inserting.

1. Balding women with comb-overs

2. Men wearing white rubber boots and coveralls

3. Braless women

4. Men or women wearing ratty slippers

5. Crossed eyed people with unibrows and high foreheads

6. Children with a mouth full of silver caps

7. Families wearing full hunting camouflage (dresses, diaper covers, socks, hair ribbons included)

8. Mullets and chullets (bonus for more than one person in a group sporting this do)

9. Deep dark grease line under the finger nails (all of them)

10. Women with dark body hair on most of their exposed parts or sideburns.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not stuck up. I really do think there is something strange going on in this town and/or the surrounding woods. Maybe it's as simple as they are all related? Maybe there is something in the water or a toxic landfill that was covered up years ago?

I wonder if bringing my camcorder in the store would go over well?

2009-07-13T06:20:00.000-07:00

Shut Up and Kill It!

Ever since I had kids; I've had an incredible sense of hearing and smell. One might call them my super powers, but most of the time they aggravate me. I can smell and hear things in the next room, which drives us all crazy.

Last night was one of those times that my powers came in handy. It was late and my husband and I were just settling in to bed. After a few moments of silence, this gem of an episode happened.

(Laying in bed honing my senses to a familiar unwanted sound)

me: We're not alone
him: What???

me: There's something in here
him: Shh, no there isn't

me: Can't you hear it?
him: No, just go to sleep

me: Did you hear that, that's the sound, it's a bug
him: You hear a bug? It's just a June bug or something hitting the window outside

me: No, it's one of those jumping bean bugs and he is inside this room
him: Are you serious? I think its outside, go to sleep

(Sound continues, we lift our heads to help zero in on it. Husband turns blinds open to show me the June bug outside. Sound stops)

me: Great jackass, you let it out!
him: There's nothing there

me: Not anymore, because you let it out of the blinds. Now it could be anywhere. It's going to crawl in my ear.
him: It's not going to crawl in your ear (sarcastically)
me: Didn't you see that earwig movie? It goes in people's ears and drives them crazy!
him: It's a June bug, not an earwig (sarcastically)

(Suddenly I feel something touch my arm. I spring up and out of bed with great agility and speed. I run away from the bed to hide in the bathroom screeching oh my God. Husband turns on lights to...yes...find a jumping bean bug in the bed where I was laying)

me: See, I told you jackass! See it's a jumping bug. You should have listened to me. I hate you.
him: (laughing)

me: It's not funny asshole. I hate those things. Will you just kill it!
him: I can't find it (laughing)
me: What! (Peeks through door. sees bug and points it out) If you'd stop laughing at me; you could see. There he is - kill him!
him: Got it, it's over (Still laughing)
me: I hope he didn't have a friend

(Husband smacked bug with flip flop. All seems well, so we get back in bed)

him: Better now?
me: Do you hear that?
him: Oh for Christ sake, you hear something again?
me: Shut up. There it is again.

(I quickly exit the bed and move toward the bathroom. Husband turns on the light and there it is...another one!)

me: I knew it, I knew it. Kill it!
him: This is weird, where are they coming from? (laughing)
me: Stop laughing at me! When you open the door to let the dog in & out, they fly in like Ninjas.
him: He's gone (laughing) come on get in bed (laughing)

For the next 30 minutes I am under the cover protecting myself from any further bugs while my husband is teasing me by making faint clicky sounds. I don't remember falling asleep, but it was sometime after whacking my husband several times with my pillow.

I'm going to go out and buy one of those mosquito nets for the bed. I'll hang it above my side of the bed and see how Mr. Laughety laugh laugh likes it.

2009-07-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

If I Was A Martyr

The term martyr (Greek μάρτυς martys "witness") the term is most commonly used to describe an individual who sacrifices his or her life (or personal freedom) in order to further a cause or belief for others.

Well I just had the delight of explaining to my Mother in Law that I won't be bringing the grandchildren 3 hours to her house for the week. The youngest is going for a record in his own barfathon today. He got out of bed once to go to the bathroom, and then promptly returned to bed. The oldest did the weirdest thing EVER and went to bed at eight o'clock this evening. We think he might have contracted something terribly bad, since he is such a devout night owl. I tried to stir him to ask him how he felt, but he is pretty out. Neither of the boys has a temperature or a stomach ache, so it's a mystery.

I was dreading the call and my husband, the yellow belly, wouldn't call his own parents. You know something, other than the vomit, stinks when a 45 year old man can't call his parents to tell them the grand kids are off their game and can't make the trip. I usually do all the dirty work when it comes to the delivery of bad news.

I guess I possess some talent at crushing people's spirits or something. I was unaware that I have this ability until 20 minutes ago. My husband explained to me that I was the one capable of calling his parents to tell them the bad news. It "seems" to him that I don't have trouble telling people disappointing news. In other words I'm cold enough to handle the dirty task that others become squeamish over.

After expressing frustration over always being the one to take care of business, I made the call. Instead of words of concern, I am met with words of confusion. My Mother in Law says, "but A (names withheld) is here waiting for T"! "You told A to be here and now T isn't coming"!, she adds. All I could think of was, "so I should put aside the fact that G is throwing up and make the kids take the trip"? Are you kidding me? Oh let me drag their listless bodies to the car tomorrow, drive three hours praying to every God that was ever worshipped that no one vomits in my car; just because a cousin is at your house? Just so you know I didn't tell the boy to be there. I asked if he would be there, because my oldest wanted to know. I think he was already going to be there, but who's keeping track?

I know what it's like to be driving down the interstate and have the following happen. I try to learn from my mistakes, as to not repeat them.

1. Dog vomits in car 2 1/2 hours away from home

2. 5 year old Niece p r o - j e c - t i l e vomits on the back of my seat and my head 2 hours from my house 3 hours from meeting her mother.

3. Cat has diarrhea in the back seat of car 3 hours from home.

With that said, I cannot force myself to sacrifice my life, sanity or personal freedom, in order to further a cause or for the wishes of others, no matter how disappointed they are.

2009-07-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

Hello, My Name is Kirsten and I'm an Addict

Yes, it's true that I am a huge fan of Big Brother. Not the government big brother, but the CBS reality show. It's the only reality show I watch. I even get involved with the BB betting pools. Think office football betting where you buy squares. We do the same thing by picking the last two people in the house.

Once again nothing stops me from watching and I plan my evening around the show. My family knows not to disturb me while I'm watching. We do the same for Daddy when he watches Burn Notice. We don't need to give the kids the same consideration, because they both possess the talent to drown out all other stimuli while watching their favorite show.

I don't know why I love watching it, maybe it's the entertainment value of watching people interact one way in front of their housemates, but spill their "plan" secrets and real feelings in the diary room. Whatever it is, it is a nice escape from the depressing news and it's just as senseless as any scripted comedy or drama.

2009-07-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

The Importance of Being On The Same Wave Length, Not Working for Friends and Taking Up Fortune Telling

As I sit here waiting to go "volunteer" at a friends retail shop, I've begun to ponder all the possible ways this day could have gone. I mean yesterday morning I thought I was working today, but yesterday afternoon kindly explained to me that I was "helping out" instead. We all know helping out is the cover term for volunteering.

I don't mind volunteering; I actually do give of my time a lot in various ways. I also like to know up front that I am volunteering. What I have a problem with is being asked to work, but there isn't any pay involved. The phone call I received included the word work, which to me conjures up the impression of being paid. I wonder why she used the word work, instead of asking me to come hang out and help. If you can't afford to pay people, then honesty is your best policy. Coming in a close second to honesty is the art of using the appropriate words for your meaning to be understood.

Should I have asked about being paid? Probably so, but I didn't think about the need to make sure I was to be paid. Now I know better and will make sure it is brought up in one form or another before I agree to do anything in the future. I will make damn sure we are on the same wave length by asking questions, in case my crystal ball craps out on me.

Not only is this day going to be a lesson, but it is serving as a warning as well. Information was shared with me, by a knowledgeable source, that when my friends business partner is out on maternity leave, my friend will be aggressively asking friends to "help out" during that time. I want to know how one expects people to take time out of their day to help you at your business for free. Mind you one of the main expressed reasons they need help is because they are so busy. So busy = selling = money, so why can't you or why aren't you willing to pay your friends? My ears perked up when I heard the "we are so busy" phrase, only to find out they are being stingy and greedy.

I could have backed out, but I've decided that I am going to honor my agreement and learn to cover my ass better.

Make It Stop!

2009-07-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

Okay the memorial is over. Now shut up, shut up SHUT UP! I get it Micheal Jackson is dead. I feel sorry for the kids, but Christ people enough is enough. What about the important matters of this country like how fast we are going down the toilet.

Don't get me wrong, yes the man was a talented performer, but he was a performer. He didn't have to die, but he was slowly killing himself with his poor choices. He chose to live his life and not get help. People have got to stop giving so much value to performers and celebrities. He was a mortal after all, like the rest of us.

I love how he was trashed and gossiped about in life, but now everyone is so torn up about his death. A gold casket? Are you serious? Creating a circus masqueraded as a tribute for one of the strangest dudes that walked the earth? Really? Would your life stop, would you be less if you didn't go to The Staple Center for a Micheal Jackson tribute. You know the man's shit stunk just like everyone elses. People on the streets crying for someone they never met. These people won't know him any more or less by continuing to listen to his music. The connection to him won't be any different.

It's never going to go away, is it. It's going to be just like Elvis or Marilyn Monroe. Everything and anything that his image can be slapped on will be flooding the mall and online. Yes, they are right he will be worth more in death than in life.

Call me cold, I don't care. We are all just as important as the celebrities. There are more admirable professions than entertainer like fire fighter, law enforcement, brain surgeon, and teacher.

Don't even get me started on the whole child molestation thing. All I'm going to say is famous or not, if I didn't touch a kid, then you can bet I'm not paying you one red cent EVER. I would never ever ever ever pay you off to go away or shut up. I would never rest till a ran you in to the ground for saying that I did, if in fact I hadn't.

Can we get back to the real world and it's real problems??

My New Addiction

2009-07-06T20:27:00.000-07:00

Not one to stagnate, I have yet another interest slash addiction. I have discovered Poker, Texas Hold'em to be exact. I've also discovered that I am pretty good at Texas Hold'em, which is making me want to play it whenever I can find someone willing to play.

I'll go as far as to say that I want to be Tiffany Michelle. Now she isn't even ranked in the top 100 poker players, but I have my reasons. First she is super cute, then there are the "sponsor" type perks. People pay you to wear their hats, shirts, pins or buttons. How much? Who cares really, because it's going toward my minimum to play. If I win money, then that's even more gravy for me.

And why wouldn't I want to set my own hours, playing a game I enjoy? Traveling around the world playing a game I enjoy. You know you can be a fat poker player! No long hours at the gym or with a trainer. I can eat a snack while playing, hell I can paint my toe nails while I'm playing.

The best part is I can call myself a professional and that's it, Ha! There isn't a Poker Pro School, and there is also no guild that bestows the "pro" status on players. You can just bestow that label on yourself.

If I get on TV and become a pseudo personality, then people give you things and comp you stuff. How sweet is that? I don't work out of the house now, so I can practice online. I'll make my kids play me, so I can hone my skills.

Can't you see it now? I could have a cool life, be rich and enjoy the perks with never having to do any good, help anyone or really do much. After I get bored with poker I'll move on to Hollywood where making money for doing really nothing important is rampant.

In Your Wildest Dreams, Not Mine

2009-05-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my loving husband decided to share a picture he was emailed. It's not the first time that he has been generous enough to share pictures of half naked woman, but it was the first time he shared with a purpose.

For some reason, beyond my realm of comprehension, my husband believes that I should have a try at wearing this fishing line creation. He said this sober! Though I'm flattered that he thinks I could pull it off, I'm going with my gut and saying no way in hell!

You see after two kids it's just not an option for me. I am not a troll, but non troll isn't good enough when you are talking about fishing line and strips of fabric. I don't know if this chick has ever had kids. God bless her, if she has and still looks like this. I'm sure the reaction on the faces of these onlookers would be much different, maybe something more like this, if I walked by wearing that.

Now This??

2009-05-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those friends that they seem to always compete with you? Does this "friend" to your face say and do things behind your back to sabotage you? Are they always asking for favors, but can't do much of anything for you? Do you find yourself always defending yourself, because you never seem to be a good enough friend in the eyes of this person?

You're not alone! I've got my very own BFF, except for me that stands for Best Frenemy Forever. Jealous aren't you?? We'll call my BFF butt face to protect her identity. As much as I'd love to splash her name around the web, that isn't how I roll.

Butt face is on my Facebook and I'm contemplating removing her, except for that nagging phrase "Keep your friends close and your enemy's closer" keeps me thinking I should keep her on my friend list, so I can keep tabs on her.

Her new thing is to compete with me for friends on Face book; she seems to have to have the same number of friends as I do. She sends friend request to my family and friends from middle school that she doesn't know, put on her status something that mirrors what I put; except she always makes hers is a bit better. For example, if I mention I'm hanging with the family watching a movie, she puts spending time with my amazing husband and loving children watching a movie and enjoying popcorn with the loves of my life. I write I'm going shopping and she writes how her awesome husband is taking her shopping, because he thinks she needs to be spoiled.

It doesn't matter what I write, she ups it by writing about the same thing, only exaggerated. Doesn't she know that she created a pattern that is very transparent? This has been happening for a few months now and it makes me not want to post anymore.

Another thing butt face does is go on my wall-to-wall conversations and answer questions or makes comments to the person I'm conversing with, even when they don't know her and it doesn't pertain to butt face. She's done this dozens of times with people I went to school with and family members. They'll send me a question about something and she jumps in and takes over the conversation without once acknowledging that I'm part of the conversation. Someone asked me about a recipe and she interjects with how she has the most amazing recipe and she'll email it to them right away. She always has a better vacation suggestion, drink recipe, food recipe, place to shop, and advice out the ying yang. I find it strange that every experience someone will tell me about, she has had the same or better and she will go on and on about describing it.

I know it may sound like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but if you knew her and our relationship, you'd understand how she is and how it's not far fetched to think this way. I'm sure I'm bitter, because of all I've done for her and how she has hurt me. Can you blame me?

My husband thinks she is jealous because we have a better relationship than she does with her husband, our kids are better behaved, her husband is rather antisocial and mine is a social butterfly, I don't work outside the home and she has to work. . I don't care! I have several friends that have / need to work and they are great people and great friends. I also have friends that have husbands that are rather quiet. I just have never dealt with someone so competitive. I've never had a friend so demanding and underhanded, well maybe I did in elementary, but I don't remember.

Any of you out there ever dealt with a "frenemy" and survived? Do you have any pointers? I'm drawing a blank past egging her house.

Back in the Saddle

2009-05-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

Well after taking a long break and thinking and rethinking where to take this blog, I've decided to do a bit of revamping. The look and feel will be changing and from time to time the content will also be moving in a slightly different direction. Instead of just complaining about real life issues or things that annoy us all, I want to add easy common sense solutions for those issues.

Somethings seem so difficult, yet there are simple ways to avoid or combat the problems without continuing the negative cycles.

There will be guest writers, links to helpful and insightful articles and upbeat advice without losing the humor that we all need. I hope you enjoy the fresh, new makeover.

You don't actually believe that do you? Okay the revamping of my "look" is true, but that touchy feely crap...uh never.

Hey Fellow Gypsies

2009-03-04T11:49:00.000-08:00

Junk Gypsies on The Junk in my Trunk Radio Show

YeeHaw!

My favorite fellow junkers are going to be on the radio tomorrow. Anyone who knows me knows I'll be sitting at my computer tomorrow tuned into The Junk in my Trunk Radio Show.

Haven't a clue as to what I'm talking about? Well, let me tell you about two guys in Kansas City named Uncle Darren and Cousin John. They host their show on 1140 or 1160 am in the Kansas City metropolitan area and on www.JunkInMyTrunkRadioShow.com.

People call in about their cool junk and sometimes bizarre stuff....Up-Coming Garage Sales, Second Hand Furniture, and whole lot more. They won me over because they like junk and they also like the Junk Gypsies.

I'll be at the Warrenton, TX Antique Week again this March 25 - April 5, 2009 , so maybe I'll get to meet the "Junk Mafia". They'll be doing a live remote on April 2nd for the Junk Gypsy JuNK-o-RaMA PROM held at @ TWiLIghT in the GypSY TENT.

2009-01-21T19:03:00.000-08:00

I'm ga-ga for a new blog called Ga Ga For Garlands. You have to check her out, but make sure you have the evening to spend staring at gorgeous wreaths, garlands and banners. Not only does she have great stuff herself, but you can link to other sites that have equally gorgeous wreaths, garlands and banners.

I haven't learned to croquet, but this makes me want to. Maybe it's the colors or the medium she and the others use, whatever it is I've decided that banners and garland are my new obession. Not to be confused with my new guilty pleasure of watching child stars cry over lost careers. Stringing garland while watching Confessions Of A Teen Idol, could you ask for anything more, really?

Treasured Heirlooms has to be my favorite. I love all her creations and hate her for being able to create them. Her pink "Fairytale Cottage" is to die for. The pictures will make your mouth water as much as her wreaths.

Sis Boom is another great site. All the colors and glitter, oh my! I'm a sucker for vintage ornaments, it's like candy. Go check her out too.

I'll leave you with some more pics to drool over, enjoy.

2009-01-19T06:41:00.000-08:00

My New Guilty Pleasure

Yep, that's right my new guilty pleasure is Confessions Of A Teen Idol on VH1. It's a show created or at least spearheaded by Scott Baio. The 80's idols featured are Christopher Atkins (The Blue Lagoon), David Chokachi (Baywatch), Billy Hufsey (Fame), Jeremy Jackson (Baywatch), Eric Nies (MTV’s The Real World and The Grind), Jamie Walters (Beverly Hills 90210), and Adrian Zmed (TJ Hooker, Grease 2). Even the producers are all guys who were famous as teenagers.

I can't say I was ever a fan of any one of them. I did think Christopher Adkins was dreamy back then and he still qualifies as eye candy. And I will say Adrian Zmed was my favorite in Grease 2 and then Eric Nies has got this whole hot Jesus thing going on. I'm sorry God, forgive me and bless the Pygmies in New Guinea.

Honestly they all are pretty attractive, but that's not why I'm watching (really). I'm intrigued by their stories. How they went from hot s@*t with fame and money to has beens by Hollywood standards to dealing with the loss of that lifestyle.

Besides I'm over Bret and his 3rd time looking for love with skanks and porn stars. And what the hell is Real Chance at Love? That one guy's hair bothers me. Black men should not have 2 feet of relaxed hair, period. I have caught a couple of episodes of Tool Academy, but since I was married to a tool I am not interested in watching tools for entertainment, well unless they are being flogged, lol!

Oh the strange shows you can watch on VH1. It's a smorgasbord of sin, trash, sex, hard-to-grasp oddities, crimes against fashion, and all the wrong things that are born from Flavor of Love.

2008-12-31T20:16:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here's hoping everyone has a great (and safe) time tonight. I also hope 2009 is a wonderful year for everyone.

I plan on taking 2009 by the horns and making it my year. New years resolutions aren't really my thing, so I don't really consider my declaration a resolution, but my new frame of mind.

This new year I'll still try to say yes to new experiences, but on my terms. I'm also going to let less bother me. I'll say no when needed and worry less if that bothers anyone. Maybe that means being less of a pushover.

I will spend less, waste less and become thoughtful of how much I really need something. The past couple of months we have reined in our wasteful spending by living a credit card free life. Spending cash only does make you spend less, but the gained freedom from not owing creditors is an incredible feeling.

Anyway, have a great year and enjoy everyone and everything about it even the unpleasant lessons you may learn along the way.

Peace

Kirsten

I Got My Own Set Of Keys To The Crazy House

2008-12-25T16:47:00.000-08:00

Hell yea! Christmas is almost over, just a few more insane things to get through and I'm home. I'm not sure what those are going to be, but they will happen, that's for sure.

Never a dull moment here at the in law's house. And to think we could have stayed home and missed out on all the action. Why hear about it over the phone when you can live it! Smells like a family get together to me.

10 Things I've Learn Today

1. If your not sure what's in the pasta salad, DO NOT EAT IT.

2. If you witness your Mother in Law fall in the pool, don't get involved. Act like you have no idea what anyone is talking about or you'll get sucked into and fussed at for not being able to sprint 200 feet to prevent her from falling in.

3. Some family members drink more than you remember.

4. Christmas time doesn't mean family won't fight.

5. There can be too many cooks in the kitchen.

6. Fog horns should not be blown in the house as a crude bell system for the bedridden injured for any reason.

7. TVs can be turned up to 90 and you can still here the fog horn really well.

8. Twelve year olds can and will drive a car around the front yard.

9. When your told you can bring a dog with you for the holidays, it doesn't mean actually bring the dog.

10. Plastic BBs can break the skin.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and that it was a quiet one. There goes the fog horn. I'll be pouring myself another cocktail now.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-21T20:30:00.000-08:00

I'll be laying low and saving my energy for Christmas. The lights are hung, tree trimmed and the cards were mailed. The shopping is done and the house is getting cleaned. It goes by sooo fast that sometimes it seems like a blur.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and Santa brings you everything you wished for. Screw world peace, I want jewelry!!

Bad Allstate Bad

2008-12-06T21:12:00.000-08:00

So we get a collection letter from Allstate for a policy we don't have. Are you wondering how that can happen? Well, let me tell you...

We had our car insurance through Allstate for years. Once they dropped us for no reason and we had to pay fines to the DMV for both cars. To this day we have never gotten an answer as to how this happen. For some stupid reason we stayed with them. Cue two years later to August of this year. While we were enjoying our vacation in Florida a renewal notice came in the mail. The day we got back I came across the notice and wrote a check and mailed it off the next day. Cue to September when we got a Dear John letter from Allstate's home office stating our payment was received late (by a day, so much for grace periods!) and that they were cancelling our policy. We also received with the letter, a refund for the total amount I had sent them.

My dh goes down to our local agent's office to inquire about the one day late / cancellation of our policy. Our agent tells my dh that it is what it is and gives him a quote for a new policy. This quote is outrageous to say the least. When asked why the quote was so high, our agent said that Allstate was treating this like we had no prior insurance. That's weird! Why would you think to treat a customer of 6 years like they didn't have prior insurance? Didn't you just cancel our insurance? I mean you have to have had insurance to cancel insurance, right?

Well, my dh leaves the office and comes home, we discuss the outrageousness of the whole situation and the dollar amount of the quote. Being the responsible car owners that we are, we look online for car insurance, because we have to be covered. We decide on another company, sign up and pay online, then 5 days later we have all the paperwork. We contact the DMV and the Insurance Commissioner to have the second set of fines lifted and all is good in the universe. A couple of weeks go by and we receive a bill from Allstate. A letter / bill for a new policy, so we return the letter with a reply stating that we don't want or need this new policy, didn't ask for it, nor did we sign anything or approve anything. Again Allstate sends a letter and again we reply.

Yesterday we receive a collection notice / threat letter from Allstate. This time I call Allstate, because I'm not as nice as my dh and nobody puts baby in the corner or makes her pay for something she didn't ask for. I get a nice lady in India that tells me they won't lift the collection until we send them the paper work from our new policy with the other company. Umm last time I checked that wasn't your business. Your not the insurance police and I don't owe you squat. I only have to prove my insurance with the state and any really nice law enforcement officer that may ask, plus the DMV. The woman kept demanding that I send my new policy paper work to them or they wouldn't lift the collection. Call me crazy, but I've never had an agent tell me to prove I have insurance with someone else and I find it ballsy to hit me for a policy that I didn't ask for, nor knew anything about.

I seem to attract this kind of crap, always have. Bothers me less as it use to when I was younger. There will many calls and letters to Allstate and the Insurance Commissioner, then everything will be fine. I am also shopping for insurance for our house, so we can get away from Allstate altogether!

The First Step

2008-12-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

....is admitting you have a problem.

Well it's official, I've become obsessed with crafts. I knew it was coming, now it's taken over. Don't be mistaken, I'm not super talented. I'm more talented in my mind, then with my hands.

I've made great headway with the old dining room getting cleared out and on it's way to becoming the craft room of my dreams. Thanks to a great friend who is hosting our garage sale and housing my stuff in her workshop, woo hoo! I can't wait to paint the walls and get the room organized.

I find myself drawn to Hobby Lobby, Michael's and the new craft dept. at our Wal-mart. Craft magazines adorn the bathroom (for tub reading), living room, bedside table and kitchen. I've bought a million buttons and vintage wooden spools on Ebay, though I do not have a craft that I'm using them for. When I do need them, I've sure got'em! I went to town at the $1 bins at Michael's buying over a dozen great stamps. I could spend all day at any of the craft stores or online looking at craft blogs. I seem to leave the laptop on Etsy. All my girlfriends know to get me a gift certificate to one of the craft stores.

My obsessions of choice lately seem to be decoupage and stamping. Yesterday I bought a square box to decoupage for a recipe box and several stamps, plus a dozen scrapbook papers and some punches. Now that I get the newsletters from Michael's and Hobby Lobby, I get those coupons. Those 40% coupons come in handy. I'm finishing up a knitting project for my Mom, then I'm done with knitting for a while. I did a little felting, but I'm more interested in making felt stuffies like this or these gorgeous felt cupcakes.

This weekend I'm making some magnets and looking for the perfect vintage apron pattern, oh the list goes on. I might have to stop baking so much, though my family might have the DT's, if I cut back on all the desserts I've been making, but my butt doesn't need so many goodies. It would help, if I stopped going to the blogs of seriously talented bakers. Yesterday I found even more wonderful treats that I'd love to try baking.

One thing that I won't be making ever, because I find it highly disturbing, is this! Not like the freaky resemblance to leather face isn't enough. It has two faces, the other one seems to be a clown and I assure you is probably just as disturbing!

You can't stop looking at it, can you?

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T08:30:00.000-08:00

Here's hoping everyone survives this holiday. There's still time for one more liquor run, lol, no but seriously.

Happy Thanksgiving from us and ours to you and yours.

2008-11-22T12:23:00.000-08:00

It's Decluttering Time

Even though I promised my husband that I was done having garage sales, I can't help but plan one more. We just have way too much stuff. Toys, knick knacks, kitchen stuff, decorations, clothes and everything in between. My family never looks forward to the pre-garage period. I kinda fill the diningroom with boxes.

This time I plan to add some real goodies! Over the years (many of them) I have started a lot of collections that never went anywhere, so it's time to get those things out of here. Textiles, depression glass, glassware, pottery, bottles and vintage bar ware. I probably have more, but have forgotten, because the things I lost interest in were boxed up and put in the attic. Hopefully I'm not the only one that does this.

I'm kind of excited to see what I find up in the attic. There might be something up there I can use. Either way my goal is to clear out half the attic, get it organized and the remaining flooring done.

2008-11-17T14:28:00.001-08:00

Spread the Stupidity

Just a little something to think about

Only in America .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order double c heeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

2008-11-16T14:57:00.000-08:00

Wenches And Royalty And Trolls!, Oh My!

Went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday and I'm still tired. This was my third ren. fest and I'm starting to get the bug. I never thought in a zillion years I'd be thinking about dressing up the family and getting that into a renaissance festival. We have always masked for Mardi Gras, but that's it. Mardi Gras krewes and masking on Fat Tuesday is a long tradition and normal for us. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to the festivals.

My first festival was in Michigan. Talk about getting a wild hair up your butt. I'm in Louisiana! I needed a vacation, so I took a dear friend up on their invitation to come visit. It was sorta a last minute idea to go to the festival, but I was so glad we did. It was a huge festival and just the light hearted escape I needed. OCD people don't walk around with turkey legs, but since only one person knew me, I threw caution to the wind and got me one.

It was many years later that I went to the smaller festival in Louisiana for the first time. Now I am thinking about going to the one in Dallas next April / May. Has anyone gone to the Scarborough Renaissance Festival? I'd love to hear about your experience, good or bad. I'm going to start looking for some patterns for costumes. Can you run away with the renaissance people like you could run away with the circus??

2008-11-13T11:56:00.000-08:00

10 Things You Shouldn't Attempt While PMSing.

I went ahead and tried these out for you, so I can say with expertise that none of these should be done.

Your welcome!

1. Go shopping - you'll hate yourself

2. Go out in public - you'll hate people for breathing

3. Interact with ANY teenager - do I need to explain?

4. Make financial decisions - Bad bad bad

5. Wash an unruly German Shepherd - will not go well

6. Watch E-Vet Interns or any sad show / movie - you will cry a lot

7. Give advice - someone will still be real mad at you after your back to normal

8. Color your hair - you'll be sorry and even more pissed

9. Drink lots of coffee - you'll be pissed at the world in overdrive

10. Discuss politics - You'll raise your blood pressure

Remember

2008-11-10T19:51:00.001-08:00

Last Political Post Here

2008-11-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to mention (for what it's worth) that my Mom's best friend hadn't decided who to vote for, so she decided to call both the Democratic and Republican party offices in San Antonio, where she lives, to ask them questions.

She made a list of questions to ask them both. She first called the Republican office and got their answers, then proceeded to call the Democratic office and ask them the same questions.

My Mom's friend asked one question about taxes and the lady on the other end told her she was an ass*ole and hung up on her! She tried several times to call back, but they wouldn't pick up the phone, so she decided to call from another phone. At this time they did pick up. She told the next woman what had happen and this lady tells her she is stupid and hangs up on her!

Well of course that was it for my Mom's friend. She's made up her mind who she's voting for. Honestly, I'm sorry she was treated poorly, but happy she has come to my side of the yard.

Just saying

p.s. Please vote with your head and not emotion. Think about what politicians say and what it really means. Question everything!

Coming Soon to Your Neighborhood

2008-10-31T11:39:00.000-07:00

After thinking about the financial state of our country and what socialism means to me, I've decided that maybe a plan D or E would be good to have. If people aren't willing to wake up to the fact that Obama wants this country to be socialist and what that means, then I should be prepared, right?

I will never be able wrap my small mind (figure an Obama supporters going to call me small minded anyway) around why these loud mouth Hollywood people want to back anyone that speaks of anything remotely close to a socialist way of thinking. Isn't that like handing the hangman a noose you made yourself. Do they not understand that they can't continue to live large in their multi million dollar cribs, flying in private jets and taking exotic trips, if we are to be socialist?

Am I missing something here? Does this sharing the wealth not apply to them? All I am hearing is big business and the elite with no reference to the rich actors and the rest of that set. Can you make millions per movie Matt Damon, if we are living in Obama's socialist wet dream? Are all the rabid directors / actors like Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, David Geffen, Eddie Murphy, Ron Howard Morgan Freeman, Jackson Browne, Jennifer Aniston, Natalie Maines, Ben Stiller, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, Sharon Stone, Billy Crystal, George Clooney and Barbra Streisand going to live like me?? Hot Damn!

So I thought more about my back up back up back up plans. If we are to live even and fair, as true socialism would have you, then I'm going to start taking inventory of all the things they need to share with me, the middle American.

I'll start with my own neighborhood and move out towards your neighborhood. Last, or maybe it should be first ( you know the good stuff goes first!), I'll get to Hollywood, all the towns / cities popular with the elite entertainment industry, moving over to their winter playgrounds like Vail, Aspen and Telluride.

See, I would like a million dollar home, a couple of tricked out sport cars, the right to vacation at Tom Cruise's Telluride home, the use of the same precious jewelry the stars get to wear for special events, free clothes from designers, just to name a few. I'm going to approach the fact I don't have these things from the viewpoint of Obama and his explanation to "Joe the Plumber". I don't want to punish these celebrities for their success, I want all the people behind them (count me) to get the chance for success by spreading the wealth.

Okay, they don't work hard like us. They are dressed up by someone else, have their hair and makeup done for them, and told where to stand to recite words given to them by others for a ridiculous amount of money by movie studios that make even more money. Admit it, a lobotomized monkey could handle the "tough" job of acting.

Having the American dream shattered under Obama's rule: $0

Having my children lose any ambition to succeed in life by hard work $0

Getting to suck the system and take from the loud mouth Hollywood elite: Priceless

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T06:02:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite holidays is here, yea! Why do I like Halloween? Well because it's the only night of the year that I can pimp out my kids to score free candy for me!

I dress them up, give them a king size pillow case and send them out with their dad while I pass out candy. Every Halloween we get together with our best friends. My best friend and I enjoy spooky cocktails while the men take the kids around the neighborhood. Depending on the drink of the night, sometimes we become way to generous with the candy giving. We sorta start judging the poor kids. I swear it's not me, it's the liquor! Hopefully we haven't permanently scarred anyone. Oh, and for any of you planning to wear Obama masks, we have something special for you. It's top secret, but I can tell you this much...it's smells like dog poo. I'm just kidding or am I.

By now my kids know the drill. Get out there and get Mommy lots of candy and don't come back unitl you have gotten at least your weight in candy. I do allow them to come back and lessen their load, but that's all. I run a tough outfit. We look like Mafia Capos at our table in the driveway directing "business", while pretending to be mild mannered housewives.

When the "Don" is happy, everyone is happy, but that's just how I roll.

2008-10-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

I Got Tagged: 6 Unique Things About Me

I was tagged by Kristen over at Shabby Vintage Mom. The rules are simple, when you get tagged you must:

~ Link to the person who tagged you.

~ Mention the rules.

~ Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself.

~ Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.

~ Go to each person's blog and leave a comment that lets them know they've been tagged.

My 6 random things:

1. I've never broken any bones, but growing up I always wanted to.

2. I'm related to Aaron Burr, Charles Edward Stuart & Jim ‘Kid’ Willoughby

3. I hate smacker's. Be it food, gum or whatever.

4. I once accidently saw my Father in Law naked.

5. I was 26 before I picked up a book to read for pleasure, but I've made up for lost time.

6. I use to rescue German Shepherds for several years.

Now I am going to tag...

Vintage Kitten
Crotchety Old Man
Happy Meals & Happy Hour
Lipstick At The Mailbox
The Soccer Mom Files
Nanny Goats In Panties

Go enjoy!

2008-10-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

This is the simplest, most understandable and truest explanation of the woes of the nation and who caused them, as well as how to cure them. This should be sent to every person in the U.S. , including the '545'.

545 People
By Charlie Reese --

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.

100 Senators, 435 Representatives, one President and nine Supreme Court Justices (Lifetime appointments) - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress.

In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority.

They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.

I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.

No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.

The president can only propose a budget.

He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House?

She is the leader of the majority party.

She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want.

If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ.

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

And keep in mind this congress only worked 93 days last year. The shortest season in history and at a time that we are at war and the economy is in the tank.

Because I Can't Stand The Lies!

2008-10-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

This is long, but worth it.

Why are people not addressing the lies and contradictions that are on video or in print. Voting records are on record, speeches and debates on video, letters and books are there to read, so why aren't more Americans seeing this? How can you not want to know these things? Question everything! Why do so many people say, "I like Obama, I don't want to hear about anything he has done". WHAT THE F@#K?? Are you serious?? That's like me falling in love with a criminal and being okay with his crimes, because he says he loves me! Wake up!!!!!

This says it!!

I know that many of you are sick and tired of all this political BS but if you read just one more thing between now and next month's election, I urge you to read the following editorial. I don't know who "Michael Masters" is or what he does, but he does write cogently and well. A Google search turns up a Michael Masters who is a lawyer in Philadelphia , but I don't believe that he is the author of this open letter. There is a "Michael C. Masters" who lives in McLean , VA – I presume, but do not know, for sure, that he is the author. However, he didn't show up in any Google searches that I conducted, so I guess he isn't "notorious" enough to be found. I look at that as a good thing, however. On the surface, that suggests he is just another citizen like the rest of us and has no particular ax to grind. However, he HAS done his homework before writing this editorial.

To Barack Hussein Obama,

The New York Times carried a story on Saturday, October 4, 2008 , that proved you had a significantly closer relationship with Bill Ayers than what you previously admitted. While the issue of your relationship is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America about it.

The Chicago Sun reported on May 8, 2008 , that FBI records showed that you had a significantly closer relationship with Tony Rezko than what you previously admitted. In the interview, you said that you only saw Mr. Rezko a couple of times a year. The FBI files showed that you saw him weekly. While the issue of your relationship is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America about it.

Your speech in Philadelphia on March 18, 2008 , about "race" contradicted your statement to Anderson Cooper on March 14 when you said that you never heard Reverend Wright make his negative statements about white America . While your attendance at Trinity Church for 20 years is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America on March 14.

In your 1st debate with John McCain, you said that you never said that you would meet with the leaders of Cuba , Venezuela, Iran, and North Korea without "preparations" at lower levels ... Joe Biden repeated your words in his debate with Sarah Palin ... while the video tape from your debate last February clearly shows that you answered "I would" to the question of meeting with those leaders within 12 months without "any" preconditions. While your judgment about meeting with enemies of the USA without pre-conditions is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America in the debate with McCain.

On July 14, 2008 , you said that you always knew that the surge would work while the video tapes of you from more than a year ago show that you stated that the surge would not work. While your judgment about military strategy as a potential commander-in-chief is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America on July 14.

You now claim that your reason for voting against funding for the troops was because the bill did not include a time line for withdrawal, while the video tapes of you from more than a year ago show that you voted against additional funding because you wanted our troops to be removed immediately ... not in 16 months after the 2008 election as you now claim. While your judgment about removing our troops unilaterally in 2007 is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied to America about your previous position.

You claim to have a record of working with Republicans while the record shows that the only bill that you sponsored with a Republican was with Chuck Lugar ... and it failed. The record shows that you vote 97% in concert with the Democrat party and that you have the most liberal voting record in the Senate. You joined Republicans only 13% of the time in your votes and those 13% were only after agreement from the Democrat party. While it is of concern that you fail to include conservatives in your actions and that you are such a liberal, the greater concern is that you distorted the truth.

In the primary debates of last February, 2008, you claimed to have talked with a "Captain" of a platoon in Afghanistan "the other day" when in fact you had a discussion in 2003 with a Lieutenant who had just been deployed to Afghanistan . You lied in that debate.

In your debates last spring, you claimed to have been a "professor of Constitutional law" when in fact you have never been a professor of Constitutional law. In this last debate, you were careful to say that you "taught a law class" and never mentioned being a "professor of Constitutional law." You lied last spring.

You and Joe Biden both claimed that John McCain voted against additional funding for our troops when the actual records show the opposite. You distorted the truth.

You and Joe Biden claim that John McCain voted against funding for alternate energy sources 20 times when the record shows that John McCain specifically voted against funding for bio fuels, especially corn ... and he was right .... corn is too expensive at producing ethanol, and using corn to make ethanol increased the price of corn from $2 a bushel to $6 a bushel for food. You distorted the truth.

You and Joe Biden claim that John McCain voted like both of you for a tax increase on those making as little as $42,000 per year while the voting record clearly shows that John McCain did not vote as you and Joe Biden. You lied to America .

You and Joe Biden claim that John McCain voted with George W. Bush 90% of the time when you know that Democrats also vote 90% of the time with the President (including Joe Biden) because the vast majority of the votes are procedural. You are one of the few who has not voted 90% of the time with the president because you have been missing from the Senate since the day you got elected. While your absence from your job in the Senate is of concern, the greater concern is that you spin the facts.

You did not take an active role in the rescue plan. You claimed that the Senate did not need you while the real reason that you abstained was because of your close relationships with the executives of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Countrywide, and Acorn ... who all helped cause the financial problems of today ... and they all made major contributions to your campaign. While your relationship with these executives and your protection of them for your brief 3 years in the Senate (along with Barney Frank, Chuck Schumer, Maxine Waters, and Chris Dodd) is of concern, the greater concern is that you are being deceitful.

You forgot to mention that you personally represented Tony Rezko and Acorn. Tony Rezko, an Arab and close friend to you, was convicted of fraud in Chicago real estate transactions that bilked millions of tax dollars from the Illinois government for renovation projects that you sponsored as a state senator ... and Acorn has been convicted of voter fraud, real estate sub prime loan intimidation, and illegal campaign contributions. Tony Rezko has contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to your political campaigns. You personally used your political positions to steer money to both Tony Rezko and Acorn and you used Acorn to register thousands of phony voters for Democrats and you. While your relationships with Rezko and Acorn are of concern, the greater concern is that you omitted important facts about your relationships with them to America .

During your campaign, you said: "typical white person." "They cling to their guns and religion." "They will say that I am black." You played the race card. You tried to label any criticism about you as racist. You divide America .

You claim that you will reduce taxes for 95% of America , but you forgot to tell America that those reductions are after you remove the Bush tax reductions. You have requested close to $1 billion in earmarks and several million for Acorn. Your social programs will cost America $1 trillion per year and you claim that a reduction in military spending ($100 billion for Iraq ) can pay for it. While your economic plan of adding 30% to the size of our federal government is of concern, the greater concern is that you are deceiving America .

The drain to America 's economy by foreign supplied oil is $700 billion per year (5% of GDP) while the war in Iraq is $100 billion (less than 1% of GDP). You voted against any increases to oil exploration for the last 3 years and any expansion of nuclear facilities. Yet today, you say that you have always been for more oil and more nuclear. You are lying to America .

Mr. Obama, you claimed that you "changed" your mind about public financing for your campaign because of the money spent by Republican PACs in 2004. The truth is that the Democrat PACs in 2004, 2006, and 2008 spent twice as much as the Republican PACs (especially George Soros and MoveOn.org). You are lying to America .

Mr. Obama, you have done nothing to stop the actions of the teachers union and college professors in the USA . They eliminated religion from our history. They teach pro gay agendas and discuss sex with students as young as first grade. They bring their personal politics into the classrooms. They disparage conservatives. They brainwash our children. They are in it for themselves ..... not America. Are you reluctant to condemn their actions because teachers/professors and the NEA contribute 25% of all money donated to Democrats and none to Republicans? You are deceiving America .

Oh, Mr. Obama, Teddy Roosevelt said about a hundred years ago that we Americans should first look at the character of our leaders before anything else. Your character looks horrible. While you make good speeches, motivating speeches, your character does not match your rhetoric. You talk the talk, but do not walk the walk.

1. You lied to America . You lied many times. You distorted facts. You parsed your answers like a lawyer.

2. You distorted the record of John McCain in your words and in your advertisements.

3. You had associations with some very bad people for your personal political gains and then lied about those associations.

4. You divide America about race and about class.

Now let me compare your record of lies, distortions, race baiting, and associations to John McCain: War hero. Annapolis graduate with "Country first." Operational leadership experience like all 43 previously elected presidents of the USA as a Navy officer for 22 years. 26 years in the Senate. Straight talk. Maverick. 54% of the time participated on bills with Democrats. Never asked for an earmark. The only blemish on his record is his part in the Keating 5 debacle about 25 years ago.

Mr. Obama, at Harvard Law School , you learned that the end does not justify the means. You learned that perjury, false witness, dishonesty, distortion of truth are never tolerated. Yet, your dishonesty is overwhelming. Your dishonesty is tremendously greater than the dishonesty that caused the impeachment and disbarment of Bill Clinton. Your dishonesty is tremendously greater than the dishonesty of Scooter Libby. You should be ashamed.

Mr. Obama, it is time for us Americans to put aside our differences on political issues and vote against you because of your dishonest character. It is time for all of us Americans to put aside our political issues and vote for America first. It is time for America to vote for honesty.

Any people who vote for you after understanding that you are dishonest should be ashamed of themselves for making their personal political issues more important than character. Would these same people vote for the anti-Christ if the anti-Christ promised them riches? Would they make a golden calf while Moses was up the mountain? Would they hire someone for a job if that someone lied in an interview? Of course not. So why do some of these people justify their votes for you even though they know you are dishonest? Why do they excuse your dishonesty? Because some of these people are frightened about the future, the economy, and their financial security .... and you are preying on their fears with empty promises ... and because some (especially our young people) are consumed by your wonderful style and promises for "change" like the Germans who voted for Adolf Hitler in 1932. The greed/envy by Germans in 1932 kept them from recognizing Hitler for who he was. They loved his style. Greed and envy are keeping many Americans from recognizing you ... your style has camouflaged your dishonesty .... but many of us see you for who you really are ... and we will not stop exposing who you are every day, forever if it is necessary.

Mr. Obama, you are dishonest. Anyone who votes for you is enabling dishonesty.

Mr. Obama , America cannot trust that you will put America first in your decisions about the future.

Mr. Obama, you are not the "change" that America deserves. We cannot trust you.

Mr. Obama, You are not ready and not fit to be commander-in-chief.

Mr. Obama, John McCain does not have as much money as your campaign to refute all of your false statements. And for whatever reasons, the mainstream media will not give adequate coverage or research about your lies, distortions, word parsing, bad associations, race baiting, lack of operational leadership experience, and generally dishonest character. The media is diverting our attention from your relationships and ignoring the fact that you lied about
those relationships. The fact that you lied is much more important than the relationships themselves .... just like with Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon ... Monica Lewinski and Watergate were not nearly as bad as the fact that those men lied about the events ... false witness ... perjury ... your relationships and bad judgments are bad on their own... but your lies are even worse.

Therefore, by copy of this memo, all who read this memo are asked to send it to everyone else in America before it is too late. We need to do the job that the media will not do. We need to expose your dishonesty so that every person in America understands who you really are before election day.

Mr. Obama, in a democracy, we get what we deserve. And God help America if we deserve you.

Michael Master
McLean , Virginia

2008-10-27T20:52:00.001-07:00

News from the Swamp: Fannie & Freddie hearings

King of the congressional investigation Henry Waxman (D-CA) has vowed to drag the heads of government-sponsored fiascoes Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee—he’s just going to wait until after the election to do it. House Republicans have been clamoring for Waxman, chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, to get to the bottom of just how Fannie and Freddie turned into such a colossal mess, but he has been reluctant to engage.

Waxman is stalling because he realizes that an investigation into the failed mortgage giants would seriously damage the Democrats. It was the Democrats who relaxed lending restrictions at both institutions, it was Democrats who for seven years repelled every Republican attempt to avert the coming disaster, and it was the Democrats’ relaxed lending restrictions that led to the collapse of the housing market and the ensuing economic crisis. But Waxman found a way out of this political pickle: simply postpone the Fannie and Freddie hearings until after the election. After all, they don’t want the public to know tidbits such as the fact that Barack Obama was the second largest recipient of political money from Fannie Mae, and that a number of sitting Demo representatives and senators were complicit in creating the financial crisis they now blame on the Republicans. Still, it is unlikely that inconvenient truths would be discovered by a Waxman hearing in any event.

PATRIOT PERSPECTIVE

Stupid People Drive Me Crazy

2008-10-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

Honestly, they do drive me crazy. This goes for rude people as well. I know I should rise above it and not let them get to me, but there's so many of them. They're everywhere, on the streets, at the store, at work, in your neighborhood, restaurants, the park, the doctor's office and every place in between. I can't get away from them, they are even in your family .

Why must I always be the better person? Just because I'm not stupid like them doesn't mean I have to grin and bare it. Does it make me "rude" to say something to someone who is being stupid? Are there approved situations where it's okay to say something or would that always make me on their level. And why is it that everyone is so quick to say that you'd be lowering yourself to "their" level, if you confront them.

In the past few months, I've been lucky enough to encounter more than the usual amount. I've had my foot run over by a fellow shopper when she ran her cart as fast as she could to get in front of me in the check out line. Last week I had my shopping cart rammed by a woman who clearly knew she ran in to me, but she didn't even look up much less say she was sorry. The other day I was blocked in at the drive thru by someone who would not move up. Apparently she was waiting for her order and felt staying right where she was would constitute pulling over into a parking space. This chick drives a car??

What is wrong with people? I've had a clerk that gave me change back and then thought her register would be short, because of it. I stood behind a man that had to ask the video store clerk if the black & white movie would play on his color TV. Have you ever been near someone who asks how much something is while they are looking at the menu?

Personally I don't care anymore, if someone thinks I'm lowering myself by calling stupid or rude people out. At least it makes me feel better.

Here's a stupid test I found online. You may want to print out or take yourself.

1. Is your favorite color Clear? Yes / No
2. Do you consider French Fries ethnic food? Yes / No
3. Are Rocky Mountain Oysters your favorite sea food? Yes / No
4. Do you not know the "secret" to the Crying Game? Yes / No
5. Do you think that e-mail is a special service provided by the U.S. Postal Service? Yes / No
6. Do you believe that Elvis is among the living? Yes / No
7. Do you believe that if you drink a diet pop and eat a piece of triple caramel chocolate cheesecake, that the calories balance out? Yes / No
8. Do the people in the movie Deliverance remind you of family members? Yes / No
9. Do I look fat? Yes / No
10. Can you relate with the guests on Jenny Jones, Ricki, or Jerry Springer? Yes / No
11. Were you a guest on Jenny Jones, Ricki, or Jerry Springer? Yes / No
12. Did you decide not to go to college because you didn't have time, but you paid money for those Sally Struther's do-it-at-home courses. (That TV/VCR Repair course sure has come in handy.) Yes / No
13. Have you ever told anyone to smile because it takes less muscles than frowning? Yes / No
14. Have you ever flunked an I.Q. test? Yes / No
15. Have you ever studied for a pregnancy test? Yes / No

WTF Sierra Club?

2008-10-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

The Sierra Club's members and supporters are more than 1.3 million of your friends and neighbors. Inspired by nature, we work together to protect our communities and the planet. The Club is America's oldest, largest and most influential grassroots environmental organization.

But...

Where is the concern? Since your organization is suppose to be for the trees, environment, and the animals of the forest why don’t you take an active role in fighting against the armed Mexican marijuana cartel that has invaded our state and national forests, they are right in your back yard. Besides causing the occasional forest fire, they are polluting the water ways with toxic chemicals, pesticides, and growth hormones, not to mention spreading rat poison to keep the animals away from the tender marijuana plants.

This problem has been documented since 1998 and the forestry service does not have the money or resources to combat this problem effectively. It seems to me that your organization could lobby for more money for the forestry service and or supply the needed volunteers to help with this dire situation. It is a disgrace that our government will add pork to any bill brought to the House or the Senate, but not worry about the marijuana growers’ destruction of our state and national forests.

Sierra Club, do you pick and choose your causes? Where are you on this one?? Be careful before you light that joint, you might be smoking pesticides and / or growth hormones. Can you imagine smoking growth hormones?? What if you don't grow big everywhere? You could have a huge head and regular body. Guess that would give new meaning to "Pothead".

Yahoo News wrote this:

PORTERVILLE, Calif. – National forests and parks — long popular with Mexican marijuana-growing cartels — have become home to some of the most polluted pockets of wilderness in America because of the toxic chemicals needed to eke lucrative harvests from rocky mountainsides, federal officials said.

The grow sites have taken hold from the West Coast's Cascade Mountains, as well as on federal lands in Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia.

Seven hundred grow sites were discovered on U.S. Forest Service land in California alone in 2007 and 2008 — and authorities say the 1,800-square-mile Sequoia National Forest is the hardest hit.

Weed and bug sprays, some long banned in the U.S., have been smuggled to the marijuana farms. Plant growth hormones have been dumped into streams, and the water has then been diverted for miles in PVC pipes.

Rat poison has been sprinkled over the landscape to keep animals away from tender plants. And many sites are strewn with the carcasses of deer and bears poached by workers during the five-month growing season that is now ending.

"What's going on on public lands is a crisis at every level," said Forest Service agent Ron Pugh. "These are America's most precious resources, and they are being devastated by an unprecedented commercial enterprise conducted by armed foreign nationals. It is a huge mess."

The first documented marijuana cartels were discovered in Sequoia National Park in 1998. Then, officials say, tighter border controls after Sept. 11, 2001, forced industrial-scale growers to move their operations into the United States.

Millions of dollars are spent every year to find and uproot marijuana-growing operations on state and federal lands, but federal officials say no money is budgeted to clean up the environmental mess left behind after helicopters carry off the plants. They are encouraged that Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., who last year secured funding for eradication, has inquired about the pollution problems.

In the meantime, the only cleanup is done by volunteers. On Tuesday, the nonprofit High Sierra Trail Crew, founded to improve access to public lands, plans to take 30 people deep into the Sequoia National Forest to carry out miles of drip irrigation pipe, tons of human garbage, volatile propane canisters, and bags and bottles of herbicides and pesticides.

"If the people of California knew what was going on out there, they'd be up in arms about this," said Shane Krogen, the non profit's executive director. "Helicopters full of dope are like body counts in the Vietnam War. What does it really mean?"

Last year, law enforcement agents uprooted nearly five million plants in California, nearly a half million in Kentucky and 276,000 in Washington state as the development of hybrid plants has expanded the range of climates marijuana can tolerate.

"People light up a joint, and they have no idea the amount of environmental damage associated with it," said Cicely Muldoon, deputy regional director of the Pacific West Region of the National Park Service.

As of Sept. 2, more than 2.2 million plants had been uprooted statewide. The largest single bust in the nation this year netted 482,000 plants in the remote Sierra of Tulare County, the forest service said.

Some popular parks also have suffered damage. In 2007, rangers found more than 20,000 plants in Yosemite National Park and 43,000 plants in Sequoia Kings Canyon National Park, where 159 grow sites have been discovered over the past 10 years.

Agent Patrick Foy of the California Department of Fish and Game estimated that 1.5 pounds of fertilizers and pesticides is used for every 11.5 plants.

"I've seen the pesticide residue on the plants," Foy said. "You ain't just smoking pot, bud. You're smoking some heavy-duty pesticides from Mexico."

Scott Wanek, the western regional chief ranger for the National Park Service, said he believes the eradication efforts have touched only a small portion of the marijuana farms and that the environmental impact is much greater than anyone knows.

"Think about Sequoia," Wanek said. "The impact goes well beyond the acreage planted. They create huge networks of trail systems, and the chemicals that get into watersheds are potentially very far-reaching — all the way to drinking water for the downstream communities. We are trying to study that now."

Open Letter to My Friends

2008-10-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Make that friends, family, extended family, ex coworkers, neighbors and anyone I've ever come in contact with. Please, for the love of God, do not invite me to a "party" unless it's a real party. I do not want to spend any more evenings pretending we are partying, but really we are just listening to someone rattle on about fabulous stoneware, yummy earrings, incredible toys that will make my kids successful as adults or what a great mother I will be when I buy the little ones a library of awesome books that I can read to them after I've put away the dinner left overs in my matching 64 piece Tupperware set.

Maybe if you had a real party and I got drunk, then you could give me a makeover after I passed out, like I'd do to you, except I'd probably use markers. You get the point, right? Thanks, but no thanks, I'll get my makeup and skincare at the store/mall or online when I need it. Butter containers work fine to hold my leftovers. It's not like people get graded on color coordinating the contents of the frig, do they?

The bookstore, Amazon and Ebay sell books to me when I'm in the market for one and I never pay much for them this way, even after shipping. I get my vitamins at Target or Wal-mart. I don't burn candles anymore, so you SOL there. For the past few years I've been burning the Lamp Berger with oils that I get online for a super low price. They burn well and cost about 5.50 a bottle, please don't ask me to pay 12.99 + 2.50 handling cost + 4.00 shipping + tax for the same thing.

Basically whatever you can have a party for, I can already buy somewhere else locally. Why don't you just have a party, I'll come to that and I'll bring the jello shots, but this 3 hour hard sales crap is for the birds! Most of the time 2 of those 3 hours are just the rep. trying to convince us to become a rep.

I'm leaving the party circuit behind. My extra money is staying where it belongs, with me or it's going with me to a flea market /antique festival. It is most definitely not going towards over priced, cheap crap that I convinced myself I needed, so you could earn free stuff. Friends don't do that crap to each other.

Now suppose you had a kegger and after the beer pong tournament, you had male strippers showing me some catalog of random stuff I didn't need, I might be inclined. Mwah ;o

My Next Car Is Going To Be the Mach 5

2008-10-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

Yep, this is my next car. Not because it looks totally cool, would make most men drool on the highway or leave your car in it's dust.

I want it for it's seven mechanisms triggered by buttons labeled from A to G on the steering wheel.

Driving around my town just about qualifies me for Nascar or maybe demolition derby. I could really deal with the auto jack, so I could jump over all the cars going slow or driving erratic because of some all to important cell phone conservation. I'm really excited about the cutter feature. Those powerful rotary saw blades would really do the trick when you cut me off. The Evening or Illuminating Eye would be great, so I can detect all the ass drivers up the road ahead at night. What peace of mind the Gizmo Rocket would bring me, because I could send it home when I forgot something. The bird-like device is operated by a built-in remote control within the cockpit, so I can send it to peck at your window, if you piss me off.

Of course there isn't enough room for all the groceries in the small compartment they call a trunk, Spritle and Chim-Chim were clearly midgets to be able to fit in there with the roadside kit, so I'm thinking I should drive this car alone and use the front passenger seat for the rest of my bags or my purse. I just know there isn't any room for anyone else.

2008-10-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

"Crap, they found me!"

I find myself wondering what it is that attracts my family to me like moths to a flame. I'd like to think it's my wisdom or winning parenting charm, but I doubt it.

They flutter to me at every given chance no matter what I'm doing. Sometimes there is a reason, but most of the time I can't figure out why they are following me.

Any day or circumstance, anytime no matter why, they choose to include me. I'm reading my favorite blogs and my husband is standing in his underwear in the living room brainstorming a Christmas party with the giddiness of a school girl, my oldest is educating me on why "we" should keep his size 10 shoes for his little brother instead of him just going to go put them away and something about being a giving person? Whatever, I'm trying to read here! That's like 8 sizes away from his little brothers feet and he's breaking my concentration as I stare confused at my husband, rubbing his belly in his underwear, rambling on about a party.

Oh, look there's my youngest, who is having issues with a bowl movement and has come to share that and much more, as he bends over butt naked asking me to check to see if he wiped his butt well enough. If only you knew the blended conversation playing out right now and the extent of the male family members' obsessions with sparkling clean asses, if you only knew.

The cat and dog follow me all day long, as well. I'm always having to watch for a cat tail or dodge a run in with the dog. I'm like the family rock star! Everyone wants to talk to me and be with me every moment of the day. They rarely do anything without being 6 feet away from me at all times. I'm the one they always pick to tell all their long stories. My opinion must be really be important. Sometimes they will share really important things like a blow by blow account of what they did on a video game when I'm on the phone. Boy they must really value my take on things! Everything that I do is so damn great that they want to be there sharing the moment with me , even when I'm on the toilet. Jealous?

I Dare You to Be Truly Informed

2008-10-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

There will be a point that this becomes a "too late to do something". I DO NOT want socialism!

Everyone should read this article from Investors Business Daily. Do not brush it off as just some anti Obama rant -- it is very revealing on where we may very well be headed. Some may be fine with this. If you are, just make sure you are an informed voter.

No matter whether you consider your personal political brand as liberal, moderate or conservative you probably won't want to hear what this article has to say, but you need to. It 's from Investors Business Daily, not some right wing publication or McCain's political camp, and it is a very revealing view of Democrat presidential candidate, Obama.

Barack Obama's Stealth Socialism

INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY

Election '08: Before friendly audiences, Barack Obama speaks passionately about something called "economic justice." He uses the term obliquely, though, speaking in code — socialist code.

During his NAACP speech earlier this month, Sen. Obama repeated the term at least four times. "I've been working my entire adult life to help build an America where economic justice is being served," he said at the group's 99th annual convention in Cincinnati.

And as president, "we'll ensure that economic justice is served," he asserted. "That's what this election is about." Obama never spelled out the meaning of the term, but he didn't have to. His audience knew what he meant, judging from its thumping approval.

It's the rest of the public that remains in the dark, which is why we're launching this special educational series.

"Economic justice" simply means punishing the successful and redistributing their wealth by government fiat. It's a euphemism for socialism.

In the past, such rhetoric was just that — rhetoric. But Obama's positioning himself with alarming stealth to put that rhetoric into action on a scale not seen since the birth of the welfare state.

In his latest memoir he shares that he'd like to "recast" the welfare net that FDR and LBJ cast while rolling back what he derisively calls the "winner-take-all" market economy that Ronald Reagan reignited (with record gains in living standards for all).

Obama also talks about "restoring fairness to the economy," code for soaking the "rich" — a segment of society he fails to understand that includes mom-and-pop businesses filing individual tax returns.

It's clear from a close reading of his two books that he's a firm believer in class envy. He assumes the economy is a fixed pie, whereby the successful only get rich at the expense of the poor.

Following this discredited Marxist model, he believes government must step in and redistribute pieces of the pie. That requires massive transfers of wealth through government taxing and spending, a return to the entitlement days of old.

Of course, Obama is too smart to try to smuggle such hoary collectivist garbage through the front door. He's disguising the wealth transfers as "investments" — "to make America more competitive," he says, or "that give us a fighting chance," whatever that means.

Among his proposed "investments":

• "Universal," "guaranteed" health care.
• "Free" college tuition.
• "Universal national service" (a la Havana).
• "Universal 401(k)s" (in which the government would match contributions made by "low- and moderate-income families").
• "Free" job training (even for criminals).
• "Wage insurance" (to supplement dislocated union workers' old income levels).
• "Free" child care and "universal" preschool.
• More subsidized public housing.
• A fatter earned income tax credit for "working poor."
• And even a Global Poverty Act that amounts to a Marshall Plan for the Third World, first and foremost Africa.

His new New Deal also guarantees a "living wage," with a $10 minimum wage indexed to inflation; and "fair trade" and "fair labor practices," with breaks for "patriot employers" who cow-tow to unions, and sticks for "non patriot" companies that don't.

That's just for starters — first-term stuff.

Obama doesn't stop with socialized health care. He wants to socialize your entire human resources department — from payrolls to pensions. His social-micro engineering even extends to mandating all employers provide seven paid sick days per year to salary and hourly workers alike.

You can see why Obama was ranked, hands-down, the most liberal member of the Senate by the National Journal. Some, including colleague and presidential challenger John McCain, think he's the most liberal member in Congress.

But could he really be "more left," as McCain recently remarked, than self-described socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders (for whom Obama has openly campaigned, even making a special trip to Vermont to rally voters)?

Obama's voting record, going back to his days in the Illinois statehouse, says yes. His career path — and those who guided it — leads to the same unsettling conclusion.

The seeds of his far-left ideology were planted in his formative years as a teenager in Hawaii — and they were far more radical than any biography or profile in the media has portrayed.

A careful reading of Obama's first memoir, "Dreams From My Father," reveals that his childhood mentor up to age 18 — a man he cryptically refers to as "Frank" — was none other than the late communist Frank Marshall Davis, who fled Chicago after the FBI and Congress opened investigations into his "subversive," "un-American activities."

As Obama was preparing to head off to college, he sat at Davis' feet in his Waikiki bungalow for nightly bull sessions. Davis plied his impressionable guest with liberal doses of whiskey and advice, including: Never trust the white establishment.

"They'll train you so good," he said, "you'll start believing what they tell you about equal opportunity and the American way and all that sh**."

After college, where he palled around with Marxist professors and took in socialist conferences "for inspiration," Obama followed in Davis' footsteps, becoming a "community organizer" in Chicago.

His boss there was Gerald Kellman, whose identity Obama also tries to hide in his book. Turns out Kellman's a disciple of the late Saul "The Red" Alinsky, a hard-boiled Chicago socialist who wrote the "Rules for Radicals" and agitated for social revolution in America.

The Chicago-based Woods Fund provided Kellman with his original $25,000 to hire Obama. In turn, Obama would later serve on the Woods board with terrorist Bill Ayers of the Weather Underground. Ayers was one of Obama's early political supporters.

After three years agitating with marginal success for more welfare programs in South Side Chicago, Obama decided he would need to study law to "bring about real change" — on a large scale.

While at Harvard Law School, he still found time to hone his organizing skills. For example, he spent eight days in Los Angeles taking a national training course taught by Alinsky's Industrial Areas Foundation. With his newly minted law degree, he returned to Chicago to reapply — as well as teach — Alinsky's "agitation" tactics.

(A video-streamed bio on Obama's Web site includes a photo of him teaching in a University of Chicago classroom. If you freeze the frame and look closely at the blackboard Obama is writing on, you can make out the words "Power Analysis" and "Relationships Built on Self Interest" — terms right out of Alinsky's rule book.)

Amid all this, Obama reunited with his late father's communist tribe in Kenya, the Luo, during trips to Africa.

As a Nairobi bureaucrat, Barack Hussein Obama Sr., a Harvard-educated economist, grew to challenge the ruling pro-Western government for not being socialist enough. In an eight-page scholarly paper published in 1965, he argued for eliminating private farming and nationalizing businesses "owned by Asians and Europeans."

His ideas for communist-style expropriation didn't stop there. He also proposed massive taxes on the rich to "redistribute our economic gains to the benefit of all."

"Theoretically, there is nothing that can stop the government from taxing 100% of income so long as the people get benefits from the government commensurate with their income which is taxed," Obama Sr. wrote. "I do not see why the government cannot tax those who have more and syphon some of these revenues into savings which can be utilized in investment for future development."

Taxes and "investment" . . . the fruit truly does not fall far from the vine.

(Voters might also be interested to know that Obama, the supposed straight shooter, does not once mention his father's communist leanings in an entire book dedicated to his memory.)

In Kenya's recent civil unrest, Obama privately phoned the leader of the opposition Luo tribe, Raila Odinga, to voice his support. Odinga is so committed to communism he named his oldest son after Fidel Castro.

With his African identity sewn up, Obama returned to Chicago and fell under the spell of an Afrocentric pastor. It was a natural attraction. The Rev. Jeremiah Wright preaches a Marxist version of Christianity called "black liberation theology" and has supported the communists in Cuba, Nicaragua and elsewhere.

Obama joined Wright's militant church, pledging allegiance to a system of "black values" that demonizes white "middle classness" and other mainstream pursuits. (Obama in his first book, published in 1995, calls such values "sensible." There's no mention of them in his new book.)

With the large church behind him, Obama decided to run for political office, where he could organize for "change" more effectively. "As an elected official," he said, "I could bring church and community leaders together easier than I could as a community organizer or lawyer."

He could also exercise real, top-down power, the kind that grass-roots activists lack. Alinsky would be proud.

Throughout his career, Obama has worked closely with a network of stone-cold socialists and full-blown communists striving for "economic justice."

He's been traveling in an orbit of collectivism that runs from Nairobi to Honolulu, and on through Chicago to Washington.

Yet a recent AP poll found that only 6% of Americans would describe Obama as "liberal," let alone socialist.

Public opinion polls usually reflect media opinion, and the media by and large have portrayed Obama as a moderate "outsider" (the No. 1 term survey respondents associate him with) who will bring a "breath of fresh air" to Washington.

The few who have drilled down on his radical roots have tended to downplay or pooh-pooh them. Even skeptics have failed to connect the dots for fear of being called the dreaded "r" word.

But too much is at stake in this election to continue mincing words.

Both a historic banking crisis and 1970s-style stagflation loom over the economy. Democrats, who already control Congress, now threaten to filibuster-proof the Senate in what could be a watershed election for them — at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.

A perfect storm of stat ism is forming, and our economic freedoms are at serious risk.

Those who care less about looking politically correct than preserving the free-market individualism that's made this country great have to start calling things by their proper name to avert long-term disaster.

Some People Are No Fun

2008-10-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

Ever stop yourself from being silly? Maybe you really want to ride that scooter around the toy store, conduct a Chinese Fire Drill at the intersection or turn up the volume on a stereo at Best Buy and dance wildly? Was your reason for not doing it, because someone might see you or worse see you and pass judgement on you? Maybe that judgement will be in the form of a silent, dirty look or a not so silent comment.

Those turned up noses that use to only belong to your elders, now belong to your peers and younger, as well. When did we lose our inner child and why? Surely we can be counted on to be responsible and maintain some silliness. Is silliness or goofiness synonymous with irresponsibility? If you enjoy acting out a movie scene in the party supply stores costume isle, are you going to forget your kids at the store? Does it mean your not capable of paying your bills on time or remembering to maintenance your car? Where's the data to support that?

In one of my favorite movies, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, Molly, played by Natalie Portman, asks Mutant (Jason Bateman), if he is one of those "just" guys. What she is asking him, is if he is someone that doesn't see the beauty and magic all around them. The world is full of "just" people that can't or care not to see the magic all around them. It's just a flower, just a bench or just a (insert whatever). These "just" people are the ones that make you feel uneasy about being silly. They have no imagination and are so serious about everything. They are so wrapped up in work, stress or responsibility.

I found a series of books many years back that I thought were fantastic, I still do. They are by a woman that goes by the name of Sark. If your feeling down or suffering a creative block this is the go to author to get your mojo back. I know a lot of people that could benefit from some silliness in their lives. Sarks books can help you unlock that light hearted, silly, artistic child in you. The one that didn't have to go anywhere, because you got older and now have a mortgage or a car note. Isn't adulthood, with all it's responsibilities, the exact time in our lives in need the most of laughter, silliness and adventure? I'm not an expert, even though I pretend to be one, but wouldn't there be less unhappy, stressed people, if we didn't lock away the innocent carefree part of our soul that let's us be creative.

I'm always drawn to the light hearted, whimsical craft blogs. The type of blogs where glitter and innocents take center stage. Thanks Pea Coats & Party Hats, Captured Jar Fairies and the rest of you for inspiring me to not throw out my glitter, but instead to use it and try to be more creative. I'll confuse a few of my "just" friends when I tell them I'm making my own jar fairy. They would never see the silly fun in making one.

Punch Me!

2008-10-09T15:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, I don’t mean actually punch me. I need punch recipes for my son’s Halloween party. It’s a group party for his scout den and the other mother’s are bringing food items and I got punch / drinks detail.

I have searched the Internet and found lots of recipes, but I want to know how these punches taste. Every punch is “the greatest”, but do I really know that?

This is what came to my mind when I found out I had drinks, lol. No really it did!

Some parents might not mind if lil' Billy slows down a bit or goes to sleep earlier than usual, but I will put the beer funnel away for now. I need a recipe for a bad ass, eight year old impressing brew. If any of you know a Halloween punch recipe that you know actually tastes good, would you send it to me?

I do know that I am going to freeze plastic spiders and bugs in ice. Maybe I could put the ice in a cooler, so none of the kids under six or seven can put them in their cup. Due to the choking hazard, I can have regular ice available in another container. Any other suggestions to enhance the party would be greatly appreciated. I'm only Martha Stewart in my head, so there won't be any tissue ball things hanging from the ceiling or silhouette rubbings I made myself on the drink glasses, go easy on the difficulty level. Mwah, thanks!

Junker's Paradise

2008-10-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I went to Warrenton Antique Week last week. I wish all of you had gotten to go. It truly is a junkers paradise. You can't really get to see everything, even if you go two days, so I suggest giving yourself three days or even four. During the Antique Week every antique, salvage business is open in the area. Every turn is a new surprise. You never know what you'll find. I'm pretty sure you can find just about anything. I saw tons of iron and metal, fountains made of farm equipment, vintage dishware, yard art, furniture, vintage Christmas decorations and ornaments, textiles, old and reproduction signage and salvage for miles and of course the Junk Gypsies!

Those that know me well know that I adore the junk gypsy style. Maybe because I basically grew up in Texas or it's that inner rockabilly living inside me, but whatever the reason, I am drawn to the tattered, cowgirl chic marries rocker look. I had the pleasure of meeting Jolie, one third of the group. She had on the perfect necklace, just the style I was looking for, so I made her take it off and now it's mine. She said her mother made it, which makes it even more special.

Make your plans for April's Antique Week! Bring a trailer and some comfortable shoes. I forgot my shoes back home and didn't even remember one of my earrings, but that wasn't going to stop me. I walked 16 miles in flip flops, cuz I'm hardcore like that. Maybe we'll run into each other at the Junk O Rama Prom. I promise you won't be disappointed.

I Admit I Watch It

2008-10-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

This show is sick, twisted, gross and wrong in probably most countries, but I love it! I laugh my ass off every Thursday night. When the promos for Sunny (us fans call it Sunny) first played I didn't pay it much attention. The show is about four friends in their late 20s who run an unsuccessful Irish bar, "Paddy's Pub", in South Philadelphia.

I actually didn't plan on ever watching it, because I am not really much of a Danny Devito fan. He came in after the pilot, he is the father of Dee and Dennis. The younger characters are the funniest, but Mr. Devito seems to have a sick side to him that appeals to me.

Each character is as dishonest and antagonistic as the other. At varying times members have lied for the sake of personal gain. In most episodes these character flaws result in unhappy endings for the main characters as well as the innocent bystanders caught in their path. Most of the time they fight over the dumbest things or compete with each other over who can steal more things, or even who in the gang can amass the most religious followers.

It seems no subject is taboo, considering the show titles. For example, here are a few.

The Gang Gets Racist
The Gang Finds a Dead Guy
Dennis and Dee Go On Welfare
Who Pooped the Bed?

My father in law was shocked at the show, which was funny in itself. Tune in Thursday nights on FX at 9pm/10pm, if you dare.

Are You Paying Attention People???

2008-09-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm getting serious on you. Everyone should watch this!

At some point your going to have to admit the truth. Vote with facts not emotion or something worse will happen. I'm just say'n.

Watch Out I'll Push Past You

2008-09-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited! Tomorrow I go to the Warrenton Antique Week preview weekend. I have been waiting for this for months, I'm like a giddy school girl. The most exciting part of it all this year is I'm making my way to see the Junk Gypsy tent. My Mom's been put on warning that if she drops from fatigue, I'll be back to pick her up, but I'm pressing forward without her. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Sorry Mom, but I missed last year and Warrenton is just to good to miss. I'm not sure that I can describe it, but I will be taking tons of pics to post later. This year it's all about 1940's kitchen to stay true with our 40's built house.

Everyone should experience Antique Week. It's held in the beginning of both April and October. The horizon is filled with tents and tables covered with every implement of household decoration or collectible know. The show has grown almost every time it has been held. At this point, the main event has grown to include the four small towns in the area; Round Top, Warrenton, Carmine and Shelby, including shows across the countryside between these small communities. People are everywhere, so if you don't like crowds or if you don't think you can handle the fevered race to find your treasure before it's gone, don't come. I, on the other hand can't wait to get there!

Ending My Day with STRESS

2008-09-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday started out so nice. The kids got along, I made a cake, fresh bread and chicken soup. It was cool and breezy enough to open the windows. Even the birds were on my side, just singing and visiting me at the kitchen window.

Later in the day the kids went to play with friends, so my husband and I decided to go shopping. Real shopping without children! We planned on hitting the stores for new camping gear, clothes and groceries. First we went to the new and improved Wally World to see how improved their camping equipment has gotten. What a wonderful and peaceful event, right?

NO!, not a flipping chance in hell. We waited in line forever, then when it was time to pay my husband's check card was declined! It was declined 3 times, before he stopped trying. I tried mine once and it was declined. My check card, not a credit card, but my check card. There was no reason given by our oh so not nice cashier. She really didn't care, but the 7 people behind us sure did. Unfortunately they only cared about themselves and that they were having to wait for us. To make it even better we didn't have the check book or our cell phones to call the bank.

Now I usually work well under pressure, but at this point my husband is starting to trip and trip bad. What was between only the cashier, our line and us, is now a public event. DH is telling the universe how he feels about not being able to spend his money, how much is in the checking account and how much is going in this Tuesday. He moves on to freak about the melting frozen food and how he has to go get the check book. He says these things a couple of times, then takes off for the door. I'm like helllooo your leaving me and your leaving me through the wrong door, we parked at the other entrance (not a wise comment to add). He all but tells me to be brave and he will be back for me. This is happening sooo fast, then I hear it, from behind me, yet not close to me, a voice yells out, "Hey, I know you". I turned to see, standing there, a woman I use to work with and her family. Now everyone around her is watching me as she relives my check card declined pain for everyone. People have stopped to tell me their stories. I just want to go home.

Now I have frozen food to either get checked out or exchange out. I decide not to exchange any of them because it would be my luck that no one in security would see me put up the melting item , but they'd see me put the frozen exchanged item in the bag. My groceries were still in bags. Some how I'd be "caught" in the frozen isle and detained in the bowels of the store. My husband won't be able to find me and the cashier wouldn't know anything about my detainment.

I had time to clear my head and decided to simply put back 40.00 worth of stuff in the hopes it was an issue of a daily spending limit that we knew nothing about.

Well, that did the trick and I was able to check out after standing in line another 10 minutes. I had to take the bagged items out, so she could re-ring and re-bag them. Fifteen minutes later my DH shows up to find me waiting outside. He's really confused and short of breath now. I explained everything to him, we loaded the car and drove home in silence. I knew I should have hit that bottle of vodka, I bought for the homemade vanilla, while I was outside waiting.

Walk Your Talk or Shut Up

2008-09-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

If you know me, then you know I own my words and don't say anything I don't mean. I will also not leave you hanging either. Nothing bothers me more than someone who runs their mouth and gives nothing but empty promises, then runs their mouth again like no one noticed that you dropped every ball you were holding.

What is wrong with being honest? Is it that hard to be honest? Maybe it has nothing to do with honesty and everything to do with self confidence. It could simply be you want to be what you can't be and you don't know how to deal with it, so you lie.

What's pissing me off so much?? My son's Cub Scout leader! No it's not earth shaking or that important in the grand scheme of things, but it does get old having to deal with his lack of follow through. He pestered my husband to step down (after 7 years) so he could be leader. For what? He schedules zero meeting, unless you count the ones he attempts to throw together without warning the day he gets the bug up his ass to have one. He is a no show for most of the important things and we are losing scouts because of his attitude regarding his poor performance.

He left me hanging tonight, looking unprepared ( I was, because he doesn't communicate) and stupid at the pack meeting tonight. My son's den had responsiblities tonight and we failed. If this wasn't such a reoccuring thing, then I would be less upset. Now I plan your demise. I don't have time to fit that in my hectic life, but I guess I can shift a few things to make room. It shall be quick and clean, which you won't understand or appreciate since you are so slow and messy. Consider it your parting gift.

I feel better.

Shhhhh

2008-09-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

I know I'm not alone, am I? There are other bloggers that don't talk of their blogging or give out their blog name, right? It's not that I have plans to blog trash anyone. Besides anyone who knows me understands I save that crap for your face. My husband, mom and sister know, but haven't asked how to find me. My sister did ask the question, "Your not writing about me are you?" This got me thinking about how many people would wonder or worry that they were the topic of a post.

After a bit more thought it came to me that I just might have some power that's going untapped.
How wasteful of me! Maybe people will give me my way in fear of being blogged about. I just might have to go over to Mommy Needs Coffee and ask her about her shirt. It reads
(I won't get mad or try to get even, but I will blog you) on the front. That got me thinking what if I had a large bumper sticker that mentioned how I'd blog you if you piss me off. Cut me off or ride my bumper and you end up here being outed as the jerk you are! I would have to list my blog address so you could go read how mad you made me or what's the point.

Let me get back to the question that I didn't ask. How many of you out there blog in secret and why? Has anyone ever been caught blogging something not so positive by any of their blog subjects? Tell me, tell me!

Personally I have no problem telling anyone how to get to my blog, if they ask. Maybe I should add a disclaimer somewhere???

Everything's different

2008-09-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've changed! I just wasn't feeling the Christmas colors and the retro nurse image. These are my favorite colors and I adore vintage cottage treasures. Now I am learning codes and such to complete my new look.

Guess that makes me under contruction. Excuse the mess!

I Was One of Them!

2008-09-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

I am about to admit something, but you can't tell anyone or laugh. I was over at Mommy Needs A Cocktail (I love her blog) reading a post about Mary Kay and the "pep rally" she got to see. Well I laughed my ass off, because for a moment in time (1 week) I was a MK Rep. I went to a weekly pep rally as a favor to a friend who is in way over her head with MK. At first I thought I was going to be just a warm body that she got credit for bringing and enjoy a free makeover and maybe some snacks. Guess I've been to a lot of selling parties and it's clouding my judgement. The tone inside this building was a mixture of behaviors I hadn't seen together before. Like 20 wide eyed, smiles painfully stretched, hyper happy and overly positive suit wearing women that were chanting makeup mantras like they were possessed. Then they start in with the bible verses?? Jesus and Mary Kay? God wants me to sell Mary Kay?

At this point I'm checking for fire exits and something to arm myself with as I plan my escape. I'm pretty sure at this point that there is more to my beinging there, then supporting my friend. In her defense I don't believe she was aware of their intentions for me. She hasn't been a rep long and doesn't usually go to the pep rallies due to schedule conflicts. Apparently guests are considered cult recruits and treated as such. Without notice I was rallied around and chanted to. Okay, I did drop my guard while eyeing "the pink ring" of glory. I don't have any pink baubles. Reality hit me as the car door shut, that I was going to have to break it to my friend that I couldn't do this. My saving grace was that I had the sense not to pay for anything that night.

I still get biblical laced recorded pep messages. I decided not to block the calls, as it serves as a once a week reminder not to repeat that mistake.

My Husband Might Get a Pardon

2008-09-10T18:35:00.000-07:00

Things are looking up for DH these days. Seems as though he might be eligible for release sometime in the very near future. The list of things to get done has been mounting and the frustration level is way up there, but he fixed the computer and I'm back online.

It is scary when I think how dependant we are on the internet. Emailing a question and 5 minutes later getting an answer all the while you bought a pair of strappy heels, checked the rest of your email, checked the weather and maybe even learned something new. I wasn't prepared to go cold turkey. Pretty sad I started to get the shakes after a week.

Thanks honey

Go Away Gustav!

2008-08-31T14:32:00.000-07:00

Here we go again, crap! Gustav is coming right at us and I mean right at us. We are getting it straight between the eyes. Everything is fine right now, but by this time tomorrow I will be without power for who knows how long.

We have prepared for a week, but it probably won't be more than 4 days. The house is boarded up and the outside secure as you can get it. We have a large capacity generator, gas, food, water, lanterns, candles, first aid needs, cell phones charged and most importantly....liquor! We sent the boys away to my parents house in Texas, so I feel better that they are safe and in very good hands.

I hate hurricanes in August / September, because it can get gross sweaty hot. Maybe I'll spend my evening looking into the best place to live. Where there aren't hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, earthquakes or avalanches.

It is so nice to have a capable, intelligent Governor in office compared to the useless wind bag before him. That's YOU Blanco! What a joke Kathleen Blanco was as a governor in a time of need.

Everything has been very well planned. It seems that everyone is on the same page and organized. Hopefully we have very little damage and get up and running quickly.

Here We Go

2008-08-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to rejoin the blogging world, yea for everyone! I know the world is now a better place, because my opinion will be on the world wide web again.

I can't wait to rant and gossip about whatever the hell strikes my fancy. Guess I need an outlet for all my creative and sometimes serious thoughts. My husband will appreciate this, because it's less he has to endure.

If there are any bored template/layout designers with nothing to do, email me. No one seems to be available to design my new awesome blog. Guess there is either a shortage of designers or a butt load of new bloggers??